My soon to be ex has Aspergers. Found out recently that he was dating people the same time as me at the beginning of the relationship. He's also been pleasing himself between the sheets and our intimacy has taken a nose dive. Recently I have found a red mark suspiciously resembling a tender lovebite on his body- something I haven't given for quite a while now.
All this he denies calling me paranoid and jealous.
Don't get me wrong-he is a sweet,sweet guy who tries his very best to hold a relationship-apparently I am his first proper girlfriend. I appreciate every single effort he does make, it means so much more than I can say. (Yeah right, he would say if he reads this) I have to limit my affections though because he gets scared when I come close-he denies this of course but has a tendency to view people, no matter who they are in a negative perspective first. He has also got the full backing of his friends who most likely know he's an Aspie, therefore stand by him that much more so if there's any problems between us, guess who gets a verbal beating and uncalled for judgement from strangers she's never even met? In the meantime all my friends and loved ones have met him. Aside from the communication problems, which I always point out is due to his LD, a majority of them think we are wrong for each other. This hurts. We both do what we can.
I have been his mentor through hygiene, personal grooming and love. I have communicated calmly and gently with him trying to discuss our problems through but he is always, always on the defensive preferring to slag me off to his supportive friends. He shouts at me calling me names and says he is only being assertive with me, but there a difference between being assertive and driving someone to tears. However I am the one that gets called a bully.
It looks like I have been nothing more than his learning curve which he can say 'Thank you, I love you but...'. To know this, again, is a blow because whoever reaps the benefits of what I have taught him will not be me.
Right now he knows the relationship is about to come to an end but is waiting for me to end it so I will look at fault and be the evil b**ch to leave him standing. Unfortunately each time I want to leave I remember only the good times and it keeps me back and I have to go through a new problem each time and chop and change tactics. Possibly in the future I will also be the one holding all the strings if we continue-he doesn't want to start a family or anything like that but I do.
I have been told that I should make an effort to understand him better. Things is when you have someone who's blatantly lost interest in you shortly after making you feel on top of the world, what else is there to understand? Sounds like any other male jerk to me.
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My soon to be ex has Aspergers. Found out recently that he was dating people the same time as me at the beginning of the relationship. He's also been pleasing himself between the sheets and our intimacy has taken a nose dive. Recently I have found a red mark suspiciously resembling a tender lovebite on his body- something I haven't given for quite a while now.
All this he denies calling me paranoid and jealous.
Don't get me wrong-he is a sweet,sweet guy who tries his very best to hold a relationship-apparently I am his first proper girlfriend. I appreciate every single effort he does make, it means so much more than I can say. (Yeah right, he would say if he reads this) I have to limit my affections though because he gets scared when I come close-he denies this of course but has a tendency to view people, no matter who they are in a negative perspective first. He has also got the full backing of his friends who most likely know he's an Aspie, therefore stand by him that much more so if there's any problems between us, guess who gets a verbal beating and uncalled for judgement from strangers she's never even met? In the meantime all my friends and loved ones have met him. Aside from the communication problems, which I always point out is due to his LD, a majority of them think we are wrong for each other. This hurts. We both do what we can.
I have been his mentor through hygiene, personal grooming and love. I have communicated calmly and gently with him trying to discuss our problems through but he is always, always on the defensive preferring to slag me off to his supportive friends. He shouts at me calling me names and says he is only being assertive with me, but there a difference between being assertive and driving someone to tears. However I am the one that gets called a bully.
It looks like I have been nothing more than his learning curve which he can say 'Thank you, I love you but...'. To know this, again, is a blow because whoever reaps the benefits of what I have taught him will not be me.
Right now he knows the relationship is about to come to an end but is waiting for me to end it so I will look at fault and be the evil b**ch to leave him standing. Unfortunately each time I want to leave I remember only the good times and it keeps me back and I have to go through a new problem each time and chop and change tactics. Possibly in the future I will also be the one holding all the strings if we continue-he doesn't want to start a family or anything like that but I do.
July 15, 2012 - 7:22pmI have been told that I should make an effort to understand him better. Things is when you have someone who's blatantly lost interest in you shortly after making you feel on top of the world, what else is there to understand? Sounds like any other male jerk to me.
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