Hi eadlock,
Thanks so much for your post, and for being on EmpowHer.
Congrats on your pregnancy, and on the other side of the coin, I'm sorry you are going through this tough period with your husband. First off, don't blame yourself or beat yourself up needlessly. You don't need the stress and your baby doesn't either.
My husband and I went through a similar situation when I was pregnant. Pregnancy can make us women more prone to arousal. From my own experience it can have an opposite effect on the husband. My own husband told me that he was afraid of hurting me or the baby if we had sex, and knew that even though I wanted it, it may not be super comfortable so he would just not initiate it. I also understand from talking with my husband then that the impending birth of our child made him anxious--he wanted to be confident that he could provide for our family, and felt like he needed to work harder at work, and bring home more money. Pregnancy was tough for him in different ways, and it did affect our sex life. My husband was a little freaked out by my growing belly, and I think maybe it's not uncommon. It also took a long time afterward to get back to the "fun" of sex. However, it is different for everyone. How do you feel about masterbation? Is your husband nervous about becoming a dad? Is he anxious about his job and being able to provide for the family? Does he feel guilty about looking at internet porn? Is it a problem? Talk with him, tell him about your fears, how you want to be more intimate with him and allow the on-going discussion to bring the two of you closer together help make the bond between the two of you stronger. If he's stressed, give him a back rub, you may get one in return! Do what you like to do together and start getting excited about the baby as much as you can.
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Hi eadlock,
July 7, 2010 - 10:42amThanks so much for your post, and for being on EmpowHer.
Congrats on your pregnancy, and on the other side of the coin, I'm sorry you are going through this tough period with your husband. First off, don't blame yourself or beat yourself up needlessly. You don't need the stress and your baby doesn't either.
My husband and I went through a similar situation when I was pregnant. Pregnancy can make us women more prone to arousal. From my own experience it can have an opposite effect on the husband. My own husband told me that he was afraid of hurting me or the baby if we had sex, and knew that even though I wanted it, it may not be super comfortable so he would just not initiate it. I also understand from talking with my husband then that the impending birth of our child made him anxious--he wanted to be confident that he could provide for our family, and felt like he needed to work harder at work, and bring home more money. Pregnancy was tough for him in different ways, and it did affect our sex life. My husband was a little freaked out by my growing belly, and I think maybe it's not uncommon. It also took a long time afterward to get back to the "fun" of sex. However, it is different for everyone. How do you feel about masterbation? Is your husband nervous about becoming a dad? Is he anxious about his job and being able to provide for the family? Does he feel guilty about looking at internet porn? Is it a problem? Talk with him, tell him about your fears, how you want to be more intimate with him and allow the on-going discussion to bring the two of you closer together help make the bond between the two of you stronger. If he's stressed, give him a back rub, you may get one in return! Do what you like to do together and start getting excited about the baby as much as you can.
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