I am taking a break from my Psychiatrist because he would lose focus so often and wander into his own stuff - so much so that I used to get really uncomfortable and upset. My GP knew about this, as did the Psychologist I see as part of my GP Mental Health Care Plan. The Psychologist used to give me strategies to try to bring the Psychiatrist back to dealing with my issues, and help me to understand that I was not being unreasonable in expecting that to be his focus. But I have lost patience - this has been a problem with him for over 10 years - so much so that I have 'walked' several times before. But I still need help - I really need help. I have a lived experience of abuse that needs addressing, I have Dissociative Identity Disorder, which needs specialist help - I struggle with suicidal ideation and I cannot allow myself to become desperate. The hospital that I used to attend have a day group also, but they make no allowances for people whose hands and body do not work properly at all - and I get very angry about that. I keep medical insurance because the Public Hospital system does not treat DID, so that I can attend these private hospitals who do run groups and support, but even though I am paying $250 a day I cannot find a place. To be fair, i have only tried two - but th eprocess of trying is gruelling - going to new places, all the new people, all the assumptions about my body and the questions I really don't want to answer. People are curious - "What is wrong with your hands/back/legs?" is a common question that is very hurtful and embarrassing to have to answer in a group of strangers. I guess that I feel that just because I am mentally ill and disturbed, does not mean that I should not be treated with respect. And just because I have physical disabilities does not mean that I should be treated as having no intellectual function. Because I advocate for women's rights, for mental health rights, for rights for folk with a disability, I get very steamed up. I don't know what to do, I cannot talk this over with anyone, because there is no one. I need a social worker, or a case worker, someone, anyone, to help me overcome the problems with my housing, with my illness. I just have no where to go with all this. My GP is very kind and supportive but he does not know what next either - and I hate going to see him often, avoid it, because I don't want to appear needy and pushy. I already know that the receptionists at the doctor's surgery have me marked as a permanent double appointment - which is okay, but embarrassing when I am standing at the counter and they are quite audibly seeking a space where they can make a double and the rest of the waiting room is listening and looking at this woman with her Rollator and hand splints and I feel about as conspicuous as a nude woman in a monastery. Sorry - just about losing it today.
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I am taking a break from my Psychiatrist because he would lose focus so often and wander into his own stuff - so much so that I used to get really uncomfortable and upset. My GP knew about this, as did the Psychologist I see as part of my GP Mental Health Care Plan. The Psychologist used to give me strategies to try to bring the Psychiatrist back to dealing with my issues, and help me to understand that I was not being unreasonable in expecting that to be his focus. But I have lost patience - this has been a problem with him for over 10 years - so much so that I have 'walked' several times before. But I still need help - I really need help. I have a lived experience of abuse that needs addressing, I have Dissociative Identity Disorder, which needs specialist help - I struggle with suicidal ideation and I cannot allow myself to become desperate. The hospital that I used to attend have a day group also, but they make no allowances for people whose hands and body do not work properly at all - and I get very angry about that. I keep medical insurance because the Public Hospital system does not treat DID, so that I can attend these private hospitals who do run groups and support, but even though I am paying $250 a day I cannot find a place. To be fair, i have only tried two - but th eprocess of trying is gruelling - going to new places, all the new people, all the assumptions about my body and the questions I really don't want to answer. People are curious - "What is wrong with your hands/back/legs?" is a common question that is very hurtful and embarrassing to have to answer in a group of strangers. I guess that I feel that just because I am mentally ill and disturbed, does not mean that I should not be treated with respect. And just because I have physical disabilities does not mean that I should be treated as having no intellectual function. Because I advocate for women's rights, for mental health rights, for rights for folk with a disability, I get very steamed up. I don't know what to do, I cannot talk this over with anyone, because there is no one. I need a social worker, or a case worker, someone, anyone, to help me overcome the problems with my housing, with my illness. I just have no where to go with all this. My GP is very kind and supportive but he does not know what next either - and I hate going to see him often, avoid it, because I don't want to appear needy and pushy. I already know that the receptionists at the doctor's surgery have me marked as a permanent double appointment - which is okay, but embarrassing when I am standing at the counter and they are quite audibly seeking a space where they can make a double and the rest of the waiting room is listening and looking at this woman with her Rollator and hand splints and I feel about as conspicuous as a nude woman in a monastery. Sorry - just about losing it today.
June 24, 2010 - 7:11pmThis Comment
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