I have never used this kind of method, so I am sorry if my questions seem off. I just do not know what to do or who to turn to, as I feel whn you ask friends they give you a not so honest answer etc. I have the EXACT same situation as you. I also have an HBA in Psychology. However to myself I feel like that makes me analyze more etc.
I will start with my current boyfriend. We had the most amazing chemistry in highschool. We are now 31 (him) and 29 (me) We then dated a bit broke up, and met others for 8 years. I dated one person fr 8 years and it ended he did the same. We are now together, I am not just saying this when I tell you, you likely wont find a more in love couple. Everything he does is thoughtful and caring, I never ever worry or get angry at anything because you cant He honestly is perfect. He will stay in if im sad or homesick, he will surpirs me with gifts all the time. We have had a deep friendship before hand so it makes it easy to care so much for each other. We snuggle every single day on the couch on the bed everywhere. He will never let me watch a movie without wanting to snuggle. We live together for the past year, and did distance for a year before hand. Before we moved in the sex was OUT OF THIS WORLD 2 or three times a day, made videos would send each other videos when we were apart etc. The chemistry and passion was something I have never seen anyone have and thought I would never find it. We tell each other we love each other all the time, he snuggles every single night and gets upset if I dont etc. He pulls me in and will just explain how much he loves me. There has NEVER been a question or worry for us. We often share the same phone, so I know there is no one else without a question of a doubt. Our sex since first living together has DEFFIANTLY not been as passionate OR as frequent. We have talked about it and he explained he is so attracted blah blah and i never initiate blah blah. And that is deffiantly a fault of mine. We have it at least once a week, but taht is about it right now. Our lives are very busy and he does work crazy hours right now. I found him as I was home, doing work on my computer he went to the shower with his phone. I had a weird feeling and checked is phone to see what he was doing in there. Again I obviously checked it cuz i wondered if that was what he did in the washroom when he tool long showers. So no matter what I want to admit it has been on my mind if he did it or not. Well I found porn. I confronted him instantly. He actually denied it etc. I didnt want to dwell on the fact that he was watching it, more the fact that i was home and he didnt come to me first. I was crying and really hurt. So I let it be, dropped him at work and now writing you. I am a very fit and attractive girl. I am intelligent and just not needy, and usually so easy going. Let me just fill you in with my past bf and you will understand why this finding him with porn has me concerned. My ex boyfriend and I had dated and bought a house together we had literally stopped having sex the last 2-3 years of our reationship. I still to this day, wonder if it was me, if something somehow i did made me unattractive (and i dont know how else to not sound vain in this situation, I am a very attractive women, I have a great bubbly heart of gold personality im not vain, im that pretty girl u would think is stuck up but loves life and has a great heart and realizes looks arent everything in life) I work out 5 times a week and have played sports my whole life. I am fit so fit. Not that ANY of this shud matter, but as you see my conifdence has deffiantly gone down since all this. So thats my ex, we tarted being best friends and sleeping in seperate rooms etc. we then realized okay we arent passionately in love anymore and parted ways. SO my boyfriend now starting to maybe not be intereted in me and sex this is terrifying me, am I doing something wrong? What can I do with my current bf to spark things up? I also wear lingere a ton, I go to bed in a cute nighty almost every single night. He swears he is so i love and wnats me so much, he just doesnt have a huge sex drive anymore etc. BUT i mean that is just excuses also. Im so so so torn and so confused, I am crying as I write this, How can someone love each other sosoosos much but not want to have sex? If you have any form of help you would be a blessing!