I'm so glad you wrote back. Everything you wrote helps put the whole situation into much better perspective.
The way your boyfriend treated you is NOT acceptable. When you said you didn't want to have oral sex, he retaliated by not talking, by being angry and by driving fast when he knows that it frightens you. Someone who really cared about YOU would have responded by saying "OK," and in understanding.
There are a lot of problems with this relationship. I understand how others might feel that one of you is "better" than the other, but I don't think that is what matters most. Many opposites have good relationships. But in this case, those differences seem to result in different BEHAVIORS and in different levels of what is acceptable. He is demanding of you; you feel like you have to go along or he'll be mad. There's nothing good about that.
I think that this is the point at which you need to be quiet with yourself and listen to what you know inside. (Apart from your mom, or your dad, or your friends, or your boyfriend). Are you worth better treatment? Is this the kind of relationship you want to be in?
Regardless of what you decide, I would definitely not have sex with this man. Your virginity is special to you and it honestly sounds like you would later regret losing it with him. It would hurt you in the eyes of your culture, especially if you want to marry within your religion.
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Anon,
I'm so glad you wrote back. Everything you wrote helps put the whole situation into much better perspective.
The way your boyfriend treated you is NOT acceptable. When you said you didn't want to have oral sex, he retaliated by not talking, by being angry and by driving fast when he knows that it frightens you. Someone who really cared about YOU would have responded by saying "OK," and in understanding.
There are a lot of problems with this relationship. I understand how others might feel that one of you is "better" than the other, but I don't think that is what matters most. Many opposites have good relationships. But in this case, those differences seem to result in different BEHAVIORS and in different levels of what is acceptable. He is demanding of you; you feel like you have to go along or he'll be mad. There's nothing good about that.
I think that this is the point at which you need to be quiet with yourself and listen to what you know inside. (Apart from your mom, or your dad, or your friends, or your boyfriend). Are you worth better treatment? Is this the kind of relationship you want to be in?
Regardless of what you decide, I would definitely not have sex with this man. Your virginity is special to you and it honestly sounds like you would later regret losing it with him. It would hurt you in the eyes of your culture, especially if you want to marry within your religion.
What are you thinking at this point?
June 25, 2010 - 9:08amThis Comment
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