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I am very sorry to hear about what happened to your son. I think cutting the cord before birth is very dangerous and if I had known at the time I would have said no. There was a couple of minutes between cutting the cord and her birth so she was without oxygen and she was born this weird grey colour and didn't cry or move much and I remember asking the midwife, 'Why is she like this?' but she brushed off my concerns and said all newborns were like that but I knew they weren't because my first newborn came out pink and screaming. She also wasn't interested in feeding and didn't 'root' like babies are supposed to, couldn't suck at the breast properly and made me bleed every time she tried to feed and my supply ended up drying up when she was only 10 weeks due to this suckling problem. She was floppy all the time, didn't hold her head up, was late on nearly every milestone (she couldn't sit unaided till she was 10 months old).

We were told we were over-wrought parents as we took her to the pediatrician repeatedly from when she was 2 years old. To start with we thought it may be a genetic disability that her father has, but that proved negative, yet she was still falling over all the time. They at one point thought it was a type of spina bifida where your spine is only frayed at the end rather than open (can't remember the name of the disability), but this turned out to be not the case.

She wouldn't toilet train at all and for years she would have to go immediately as soon as she felt the urge, or it would be too late, kind of difficult when you're stuck in traffic.

Intellectually she's a bright child and can hold intelligent conversations but she always preferred to be with kids younger than herself and play with them, rather than kids her own age. She also had no concept of joining in and in school would not even do what the teacher said and would not sit in a group when they had story time. She actually got suspended on her first week for non-cooperative behaviour and she was only 4 at the time! We decided to home school after that because the schools just weren't geared up to deal with 'special' children.

Her reading level was above average but if she tried to write anything down it would either come out backwards or she'd tell you she couldn't put words down on paper.

When she was 12 they finally believed us and gave a diagnosis of ADHD, aspergers syndrome, dyspraxia and dyslexia so we at least know where we are with her now. When she was 13 she finally became toilet trained and she is now part time home schooled and part time in a very small, parent run private school so that she can study for her exams in a couple of years, so things are looking up for her. I used to worry about how she would have a normal life if she was not toilet trained, and how she would get married when older, but now I'm not worried, I think she'll do fine.

I'm not sure about online support groups. I never joined one, but I did try the DAN! approach (defeat autism now). I know my daughter doesn't have autism but I thought if it helped with that it might help with her problems so we put her on omega oils, vitamin therapy, took her to a chiropractor to improve her coordination and concentration etc. Here's the website about it:


They do have a resources for parents section. I'm not sure what your son's developmental disability is but they might be able to help or point you in the right direction?

Good luck to you,


May 28, 2011 - 7:49am


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