I am getting very worried about my mom. My mom is in stage 4 cancer and in kidney failure now. In January, when she was weight was taken, my mother weight was 72 pounds. Could be a little less by now. Nothing but bone. My mother wears a bag, because her breast cancer has gone into her bowels now.
My mother throws up sometimes after eating and is blocking up again, and refuses to go to the hospital, go into hospice like the doctors want her to, or to have a hospice nurse at home. My mother has been very difficult. My mother never went to rehab after her operation to learn how to deal with her own bag. it is over 3 years now dealing with her not doing what she needs to do, and have been in and out of the hospital with her, because as soon as she is in, she don't let them do anything that might keep her in there. They wanted her to stay and do something for her kidney or to get blood the last time she was in, and just laid there not accepting anything much, and they finally had to release her. My mother's latest scan shows cancer all in her lower stomach area. The doctor my mother had when she had her first around of chemo said it won't help as well as the first round did. Anyway, my mother chemo this time is making her sick, too strong to take the whole pill, so she has to half the pill, so my mother told me. Also, she is afraid to take another other than Children's Tylenol, which doesn't help her pain. The doctor gave her a more powerful one, but she won't take the whole pill of that, because she don't want to have side effect that will make her have to go into the hospital. I have helped as long as I can, then my poor 85 year old dad is changing her bag. Bother my parents complain how hard it is on them, but refuses a nurse. Well, my dad won't care, but he does what she wants. My sister was no help at all. Just comes up to visit when she feels like it. My mother wanted me and her sister to be the ones to take care of her. My aunt never did help her, and she is highly pissed off at her too. Complains about her every time I talk to her on the phone, which that gets on my nurses too.
I am at my wits end now, and so is my dad. I do not know what to do. My mother complains to me she needs help, but when the doctor mentions hospice care. My mother says, I don't need help, I can take care of my self. My mother is in deep denial that she is going to die, and said once.. the doctor wants to put me in hospice care, talk to me like I am dying... I am not going to die until I am ready to die. My friend told me, your mother refusing hospice care at home will soon land her in the hospital where she is trying so hard to stay out of. I said, I know, but you can not talk to her, she won't listen. Has anyone on here had a family member that was so hard to deal with like this? If so, how did you handle it, and if you got them in hospice care, how did you manage to do this and them being so difficult? Thank for your help !
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I am getting very worried about my mom. My mom is in stage 4 cancer and in kidney failure now. In January, when she was weight was taken, my mother weight was 72 pounds. Could be a little less by now. Nothing but bone. My mother wears a bag, because her breast cancer has gone into her bowels now.
April 6, 2013 - 10:39amMy mother throws up sometimes after eating and is blocking up again, and refuses to go to the hospital, go into hospice like the doctors want her to, or to have a hospice nurse at home. My mother has been very difficult. My mother never went to rehab after her operation to learn how to deal with her own bag. it is over 3 years now dealing with her not doing what she needs to do, and have been in and out of the hospital with her, because as soon as she is in, she don't let them do anything that might keep her in there. They wanted her to stay and do something for her kidney or to get blood the last time she was in, and just laid there not accepting anything much, and they finally had to release her. My mother's latest scan shows cancer all in her lower stomach area. The doctor my mother had when she had her first around of chemo said it won't help as well as the first round did. Anyway, my mother chemo this time is making her sick, too strong to take the whole pill, so she has to half the pill, so my mother told me. Also, she is afraid to take another other than Children's Tylenol, which doesn't help her pain. The doctor gave her a more powerful one, but she won't take the whole pill of that, because she don't want to have side effect that will make her have to go into the hospital. I have helped as long as I can, then my poor 85 year old dad is changing her bag. Bother my parents complain how hard it is on them, but refuses a nurse. Well, my dad won't care, but he does what she wants. My sister was no help at all. Just comes up to visit when she feels like it. My mother wanted me and her sister to be the ones to take care of her. My aunt never did help her, and she is highly pissed off at her too. Complains about her every time I talk to her on the phone, which that gets on my nurses too.
I am at my wits end now, and so is my dad. I do not know what to do. My mother complains to me she needs help, but when the doctor mentions hospice care. My mother says, I don't need help, I can take care of my self. My mother is in deep denial that she is going to die, and said once.. the doctor wants to put me in hospice care, talk to me like I am dying... I am not going to die until I am ready to die. My friend told me, your mother refusing hospice care at home will soon land her in the hospital where she is trying so hard to stay out of. I said, I know, but you can not talk to her, she won't listen. Has anyone on here had a family member that was so hard to deal with like this? If so, how did you handle it, and if you got them in hospice care, how did you manage to do this and them being so difficult? Thank for your help !
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