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EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

There are so many factors in depression, attempted suicide, drug/alcohol abuse etc. that is going on with him. There may not be a quick fix to all these issues. Blaming you for things is just a way for him to stop thinking 'it may be him'. It is always easier blame someone else. This also may explain why he is unemployed.

I have to completely agree with Susan on this one. What is it that you love so much about someone who treats you so horrible? Are you afraid of being alone? Do you think he is the only person that you will ever be with?

I think centering on YOU is better in this predicament as I believe you are in a very unhealthy environment. If you write down what you really like about this guy and what you don't like about him, which list is longer? I can guess just by your comments, that the 'con list' is much longer. Don't settle for any of this treatment.

You are clearly a level headed individual that can make a plunge forward into the right direction. Removing him from your residence would be a great move. Does he have means of surviving without you? At this point, even if he has to be homeless, it may be helpful for him to 'get back to reality'.

I was in a similar situation not too long ago. It is clear that you feel as if you are the bad person throwing him out although, you are certainly not his caretaker/mother. What really helped me was I attended AL-ANON meetings which are for people affected by others drug/alcohol issues. Not only does it help you understand addiction, it will also help you take better care of yourself as you also become a 'drug addict' in a sense that you feel that you can help. Only 'the addict/alcoholic can help themselves'. Here is a link to the Al-Anon website which may be helpful.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

Please help yourself first before you can help someone else. Understand that all these issues are not your problem but his. You can give him information about receiving help for his mental illness, addiction and maybe even depression but you cannot make him a productive citizen. That is in his hands.

Instead of asking, “Does he really want me?” ask “Do you really want him?”

Does this information help? Believe me, Al-Anon is not only for person's dealing with addictions, it is to regain ourselves to be stronger and step away from the people that are causing their own pains which engulf our over lives.

March 6, 2010 - 11:37am

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