I know it is really hard to do, but you may want to take a break. I'm not suggesting ending things, but kick him out on a temporary basis or take the kids and live with a friend or family member on a temporary basis. Doing so I think is an unmistakeable sign to the other person that the way things are is not working for you and you have to consider your options if things don't start to change. Unfortunately if you don't give a person a reason to do what you need from them often times people will lazily keep doing what they are doing because there is no negative result caused from what they are doing. Normally I would suggest talking to your boyfriend but clearly you are trying and not even being given an opportunity to be heard. If you don't want to immediately try putting some distance between the two of you, perhaps he refuses to talk to you because of how you approach him? I'm not trying to say you're in the wrong or anything, just trying to find some helpful solutions. If it were me I would be really irritated if someone turned off my show (even if they gave me a heads up before they turned it off, it would make me feel as though I don't have control over their own life to an extent) because they decided they had to talk to me at that very moment. Have you tried approaching him with, "hey, I really would like to talk to you about a few things, would you mind doing that when you aren't busy?" It may suck to have to wait, but he may be ignoring you because of how your approach is making him feel. This happens between my boyfriend and I as well and the problem usually ends up being that one of us felt our needs or wants or feelings were invalidated by the other. I'm sorry if this is not helpful but relationship advice is a bit difficult because every relationship is different. I hope your relationship works out and things get better for the both of you and your kids.
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I know it is really hard to do, but you may want to take a break. I'm not suggesting ending things, but kick him out on a temporary basis or take the kids and live with a friend or family member on a temporary basis. Doing so I think is an unmistakeable sign to the other person that the way things are is not working for you and you have to consider your options if things don't start to change. Unfortunately if you don't give a person a reason to do what you need from them often times people will lazily keep doing what they are doing because there is no negative result caused from what they are doing. Normally I would suggest talking to your boyfriend but clearly you are trying and not even being given an opportunity to be heard. If you don't want to immediately try putting some distance between the two of you, perhaps he refuses to talk to you because of how you approach him? I'm not trying to say you're in the wrong or anything, just trying to find some helpful solutions. If it were me I would be really irritated if someone turned off my show (even if they gave me a heads up before they turned it off, it would make me feel as though I don't have control over their own life to an extent) because they decided they had to talk to me at that very moment. Have you tried approaching him with, "hey, I really would like to talk to you about a few things, would you mind doing that when you aren't busy?" It may suck to have to wait, but he may be ignoring you because of how your approach is making him feel. This happens between my boyfriend and I as well and the problem usually ends up being that one of us felt our needs or wants or feelings were invalidated by the other. I'm sorry if this is not helpful but relationship advice is a bit difficult because every relationship is different. I hope your relationship works out and things get better for the both of you and your kids.
May 28, 2015 - 6:57pmThis Comment
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