i understand all of this and it took a long time to get to that point. i've had several exes that i kept in my life. when my fiance and i got together, he wasnt friends with any of his exes, and didnt understand me being friends with mine. i let go of them, and most it didnt matter, except one was a good friend and there if i ever needed anything, but im absolutely positive he would still sleep with me if i actually wanted to, so snce there are feelings on his side (which he would of COURSE deny, yet he has a track record with every single ex), and then the other who i havent dated in YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS was my first boyfriend from high school, but my fiance gets along with him and knows that we are not interested in eachother. (at least i am completely disgusted by the mere thought of him as more than a friend-he's like a brother).
since i understand all of this, i need to ask another question about a similar topic. i have very severe mental health issues that i had when i was a kid, but learned and grew out of them with help from God. my fiance and i are splitting to give eachother space so we arent under eachothers skin anymore, until i get myself straightened out. it took a major fight for him to leave and he is severly depressed and wants to come back and get along with me, but every time this happens, i tell him im not ok right now and i need to get better first. heartbroken, i let him back every time. he has a way of ignoring and stopping an arguement to cope, and i have a need to talk about it and let it out and follow him and scream at him when he is trying to make peace and let my anger ride out. but it gets worse when i feel ignored, even when he is trying to prevent further arguement. i feel so depressed i cant do things for myself. i havent taken care of myself, my hygiene, i dont clean, eat healthy, or exercise, because im so depressed. on top of that, i have a HUGE SUPER MAJOR capstone project and other major projects due for this semester in the next coming weeks before i can graduate, along with an internship i am starting soon in order to graduate. our lease is up at the end of may, and i am staying here until then, and then i have nowhere to go. i was going to stay with my fiance at his moms but it's not a good idea. im unsure if the homeless shelters in downtown cleveland are safe-ive heard people get mugged, stabbed, and shot for things as petty as shoes. my brother is very hard to get along with and moved back into my parents under house arrest and thats why i moved out. my sisters live in different states, and my BFF invited me to arizona, but i need to stay here til september to complete my internship. my best friend originally said when she got her house i could stay there for the summer to save money, but now that her and her fiance got their house, she needs her space and said sorry but she wont even let her brother move in. i dont have any money, because i quit work for school and my internship, so i cant get an extension on my lease. my fiance and i wanted to move together in september to orlando. but right now that cant happen until i get my anger and fears and anxiety and depression worked out. i need support. my psychiatrist put me on depression medication that made me have such bad side effects and i didnt want to go on it anyways, so i stopped it a couple weeks ago, and thats why my negativity and anger and depression are so bad right now. my body needs to readjust, and produce its own seratonin. my sister went through all of what im going through as well (because we all have the same dad that left all of our moms, so all my sisters have problems), and she told me about DDT therapy, and she explained everything she does, and it was EVERY single thing i asked from my mean psychiatrist that only prescribed me with drugs as a first and last resort. i was asking about all the side effects and telling her i already have problems and the pills would escalate them and she yelled at me and asked if i liked the way i was feeling, and as i was crying in her office, i said No, and she said 'well then take the pills.' i did, and it caused other problems that my fiance was upset about, and i felt horrible on them every day. i need an emotional support group and im hoping that people that take the time to read this can leave me a nice comment and some good advice. im heartbroken right now, and i miss my fiance, but i have to stay away from him right now to get better, before we can have a healthy relationship. he is so wonderful and he loves me, he just doesnt know how to help me. and i start fights and get insecure about EVERYTHING and i have NO confidence, low self esteem, and low self concept. please help!
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i understand all of this and it took a long time to get to that point. i've had several exes that i kept in my life. when my fiance and i got together, he wasnt friends with any of his exes, and didnt understand me being friends with mine. i let go of them, and most it didnt matter, except one was a good friend and there if i ever needed anything, but im absolutely positive he would still sleep with me if i actually wanted to, so snce there are feelings on his side (which he would of COURSE deny, yet he has a track record with every single ex), and then the other who i havent dated in YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS was my first boyfriend from high school, but my fiance gets along with him and knows that we are not interested in eachother. (at least i am completely disgusted by the mere thought of him as more than a friend-he's like a brother).
since i understand all of this, i need to ask another question about a similar topic. i have very severe mental health issues that i had when i was a kid, but learned and grew out of them with help from God. my fiance and i are splitting to give eachother space so we arent under eachothers skin anymore, until i get myself straightened out. it took a major fight for him to leave and he is severly depressed and wants to come back and get along with me, but every time this happens, i tell him im not ok right now and i need to get better first. heartbroken, i let him back every time. he has a way of ignoring and stopping an arguement to cope, and i have a need to talk about it and let it out and follow him and scream at him when he is trying to make peace and let my anger ride out. but it gets worse when i feel ignored, even when he is trying to prevent further arguement. i feel so depressed i cant do things for myself. i havent taken care of myself, my hygiene, i dont clean, eat healthy, or exercise, because im so depressed. on top of that, i have a HUGE SUPER MAJOR capstone project and other major projects due for this semester in the next coming weeks before i can graduate, along with an internship i am starting soon in order to graduate. our lease is up at the end of may, and i am staying here until then, and then i have nowhere to go. i was going to stay with my fiance at his moms but it's not a good idea. im unsure if the homeless shelters in downtown cleveland are safe-ive heard people get mugged, stabbed, and shot for things as petty as shoes. my brother is very hard to get along with and moved back into my parents under house arrest and thats why i moved out. my sisters live in different states, and my BFF invited me to arizona, but i need to stay here til september to complete my internship. my best friend originally said when she got her house i could stay there for the summer to save money, but now that her and her fiance got their house, she needs her space and said sorry but she wont even let her brother move in. i dont have any money, because i quit work for school and my internship, so i cant get an extension on my lease. my fiance and i wanted to move together in september to orlando. but right now that cant happen until i get my anger and fears and anxiety and depression worked out. i need support. my psychiatrist put me on depression medication that made me have such bad side effects and i didnt want to go on it anyways, so i stopped it a couple weeks ago, and thats why my negativity and anger and depression are so bad right now. my body needs to readjust, and produce its own seratonin. my sister went through all of what im going through as well (because we all have the same dad that left all of our moms, so all my sisters have problems), and she told me about DDT therapy, and she explained everything she does, and it was EVERY single thing i asked from my mean psychiatrist that only prescribed me with drugs as a first and last resort. i was asking about all the side effects and telling her i already have problems and the pills would escalate them and she yelled at me and asked if i liked the way i was feeling, and as i was crying in her office, i said No, and she said 'well then take the pills.' i did, and it caused other problems that my fiance was upset about, and i felt horrible on them every day. i need an emotional support group and im hoping that people that take the time to read this can leave me a nice comment and some good advice. im heartbroken right now, and i miss my fiance, but i have to stay away from him right now to get better, before we can have a healthy relationship. he is so wonderful and he loves me, he just doesnt know how to help me. and i start fights and get insecure about EVERYTHING and i have NO confidence, low self esteem, and low self concept. please help!
April 12, 2010 - 4:38pmThis Comment
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