Just wanted to thank all of the thoughtful people commenting on this post. Also, I would like to clarify my point and state that being black and white in our thinking about this and just "cutting someone off" without taking into account more complex emotions and relationships is NOT what I was aiming for here. Rather, I was hoping to empower women to really feel strong enough to end a relationship when the ending of the relationship was WHAT THEY WANTED and not to be pulled back in because of guilt, a feeling of not deserving something different, or because of the ex's maintaining emotional control or even emotional blackmail.
Of course life is messy, complicated and difficult, especially when it comes to love and sex. I am really getting at the meat and potatoes of learning to embrace your own feelings, which, for many women feels almost decadent. If YOU have decided to break up with someone, THEN my advice is to REALLY BREAK UP - perhaps, as so many articulate people have said here - NOT FOREVER, but at least for enough time to give YOURSELF A CHANCE to breathe, to recover, to get to know yourself apart from the relationship.
Hope this clears some things up.
Thank you so very much for the thought, effort, and caring put into your comments.
Comment Reply
Just wanted to thank all of the thoughtful people commenting on this post. Also, I would like to clarify my point and state that being black and white in our thinking about this and just "cutting someone off" without taking into account more complex emotions and relationships is NOT what I was aiming for here. Rather, I was hoping to empower women to really feel strong enough to end a relationship when the ending of the relationship was WHAT THEY WANTED and not to be pulled back in because of guilt, a feeling of not deserving something different, or because of the ex's maintaining emotional control or even emotional blackmail.
Of course life is messy, complicated and difficult, especially when it comes to love and sex. I am really getting at the meat and potatoes of learning to embrace your own feelings, which, for many women feels almost decadent. If YOU have decided to break up with someone, THEN my advice is to REALLY BREAK UP - perhaps, as so many articulate people have said here - NOT FOREVER, but at least for enough time to give YOURSELF A CHANCE to breathe, to recover, to get to know yourself apart from the relationship.
Hope this clears some things up.
Thank you so very much for the thought, effort, and caring put into your comments.
Aimee
January 30, 2010 - 12:44pmThis Comment
Reply