This is a wonderful post. I haven't seen the public service announcements that you mention, but they sound great. I'll keep my eyes open.
I am often guilty of not asking enough questions in the doctor's office, and it's crazy, because I am an information NUT in other aspects of my life. At times before an appointment I have even made a list of my questions -- and then neglected to get the list out, thereby forgetting a couple of them.
And yet here at EmpowHer I research and write answers to health questions for women!!
I have gotten better over the years. But one of the primary factors in how comfortable a woman feels about asking questions is the doctor's way of answering questions and "wrapping up" an appointment. If a doctor is seated with you in her office, before an appointment, asking you whether there's anything on your mind, it's very easy to say "Yes, actually, a few things," and proceed through the list. But if you have just had a Pap smear, are still sitting on the examining table with your paper gown and coverup, and she stands by the door asking, "Is there anything else on your mind?" it can be quite a bit more difficult. The "power" in the room feels like it is heading out the door, and the "subordinate" in the room -- us, undressed and several feet away from our purse and our list -- thinks oh, I'll ask those things later.
And it never helps when you've waited 40 minutes in the outer office and 20 minutes in the inner office. If you're already thinking that you're late getting back to work, you're going to hesitate to do anything that could draw the whole thing out longer, especially if it would involve a detailed conversation.
Doctors are busy, and they have a lot of pressures on their daily schedules. But I'll never forget the first gynecologist I had who actually took the time to talk with me about everything on my mind, as if she had all the time in the world. (I knew she didn't; she was running an hour late due to emergency surgery.) She looked me in the eye, responded to my questions, followed up and invited more. It didn't really take long, and I got all the information I was wanting. It was an epiphany.
If you know ahead of time that you have some questions you'd like to talk about, call ahead and ask the office about their least busy appointment days. If they say every day is busy, ask for an appointment in the morning, where things won't be running behind so much. If your doctor is one of those who talks with you for a few moments before you undress, wonderful -- say, right then, "I have a few unrelated questions I'd like to ask you, is this the best time?" If you have a doctor whom you don't see until she enters your room and you're waiting on the examining table, take your list of questions out and put it on her desk. When she comes in, she'll see it, and it'll feel natural for you to say, "I have a few questions unrelated to my exam, should I ask them now or afterward?"
Either way, you have taken the initiative, and you've let her know right up front that you want some extra conversation time. It'll allow her to adjust her pace if she needs to.
And if you're the kind of person who asks two of your six questions and then feels like you've "imposed" on her too much already, don't let yourself do that. Say right up front -- "OK, I have six questions! Here's the first one:" and just barrel on through.
Maybe the public service announcements will make us all a little more comfortable with taking up more of our doctors' time. I hope so, because it's never easy. But if you think it through ahead of time, you can do it. And you'll be really happy with yourself when you leave.
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Christine,
This is a wonderful post. I haven't seen the public service announcements that you mention, but they sound great. I'll keep my eyes open.
I am often guilty of not asking enough questions in the doctor's office, and it's crazy, because I am an information NUT in other aspects of my life. At times before an appointment I have even made a list of my questions -- and then neglected to get the list out, thereby forgetting a couple of them.
And yet here at EmpowHer I research and write answers to health questions for women!!
I have gotten better over the years. But one of the primary factors in how comfortable a woman feels about asking questions is the doctor's way of answering questions and "wrapping up" an appointment. If a doctor is seated with you in her office, before an appointment, asking you whether there's anything on your mind, it's very easy to say "Yes, actually, a few things," and proceed through the list. But if you have just had a Pap smear, are still sitting on the examining table with your paper gown and coverup, and she stands by the door asking, "Is there anything else on your mind?" it can be quite a bit more difficult. The "power" in the room feels like it is heading out the door, and the "subordinate" in the room -- us, undressed and several feet away from our purse and our list -- thinks oh, I'll ask those things later.
And it never helps when you've waited 40 minutes in the outer office and 20 minutes in the inner office. If you're already thinking that you're late getting back to work, you're going to hesitate to do anything that could draw the whole thing out longer, especially if it would involve a detailed conversation.
Doctors are busy, and they have a lot of pressures on their daily schedules. But I'll never forget the first gynecologist I had who actually took the time to talk with me about everything on my mind, as if she had all the time in the world. (I knew she didn't; she was running an hour late due to emergency surgery.) She looked me in the eye, responded to my questions, followed up and invited more. It didn't really take long, and I got all the information I was wanting. It was an epiphany.
If you know ahead of time that you have some questions you'd like to talk about, call ahead and ask the office about their least busy appointment days. If they say every day is busy, ask for an appointment in the morning, where things won't be running behind so much. If your doctor is one of those who talks with you for a few moments before you undress, wonderful -- say, right then, "I have a few unrelated questions I'd like to ask you, is this the best time?" If you have a doctor whom you don't see until she enters your room and you're waiting on the examining table, take your list of questions out and put it on her desk. When she comes in, she'll see it, and it'll feel natural for you to say, "I have a few questions unrelated to my exam, should I ask them now or afterward?"
Either way, you have taken the initiative, and you've let her know right up front that you want some extra conversation time. It'll allow her to adjust her pace if she needs to.
And if you're the kind of person who asks two of your six questions and then feels like you've "imposed" on her too much already, don't let yourself do that. Say right up front -- "OK, I have six questions! Here's the first one:" and just barrel on through.
Maybe the public service announcements will make us all a little more comfortable with taking up more of our doctors' time. I hope so, because it's never easy. But if you think it through ahead of time, you can do it. And you'll be really happy with yourself when you leave.
October 14, 2009 - 8:32amThis Comment
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