Can you tell us more about what you are fearful about, in regards to sex?
What exactly is physically painful during intercourse? For example:
- Does it hurt upon insertion of his penis on the very outside of your vagina or vulva?
- Does it hurt only after a few minutes of sex, on the inside or outside of your vagina?
- Does it hurt if your boyfriend inserts his penis too deep and feels like he "hits" or "bumps" into something inside your vagina (your cervix)?
What emotional or mental pain/hurt do you feel during sex (or, any physical/sexual intimacy)?
Fear of sex can be routed in many different places, and have many different causes.
- Have you ever been sexually assaulted or had an unwanted sexual or physical experience or trauma?
- Do you feel that you can trust your current boyfriend, and that he will listen to you if you want to slow down, or stop, being physically intimate, at any point?
- Do you feel that you are able to physically respond appropriately, as part of the sexual response (meaning: do you feel "wet" and that your vagina is lubricated?).
- Do you have any underlying medical conditions that may be hindering physical enjoyment, and/or causing pain? Have you been evaluated by a Gynecologist?
This fear can be resolved in more (seemingly) simple steps, including: taking more time for foreplay, adding lubrication (bought from the store, such as KY Jelly or Astroglide), knowing your body and communicating with your partner about what feels good, and overall just relaxing and enjoying the time that you are spending being physically close and intimate.
This fear can also be more complicated, as having a previous unwanted experience that is still unknowingly terrifying you or holding you back. It can be psychological or underlying pressure that you have certain expectations about what you/your partner should or should not be doing. You can be in an unhealthy relationship, and your body is responding to this fear by not responding sexually. Your fear can be routed in your childhood, a previous experience, or fear of your current partner.
Can you tell us some of the answers to the above questions, so that we may provide more information to help?
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Can you tell us more about what you are fearful about, in regards to sex?
What exactly is physically painful during intercourse? For example:
- Does it hurt upon insertion of his penis on the very outside of your vagina or vulva?
- Does it hurt only after a few minutes of sex, on the inside or outside of your vagina?
- Does it hurt if your boyfriend inserts his penis too deep and feels like he "hits" or "bumps" into something inside your vagina (your cervix)?
What emotional or mental pain/hurt do you feel during sex (or, any physical/sexual intimacy)?
Fear of sex can be routed in many different places, and have many different causes.
- Have you ever been sexually assaulted or had an unwanted sexual or physical experience or trauma?
- Do you feel that you can trust your current boyfriend, and that he will listen to you if you want to slow down, or stop, being physically intimate, at any point?
- Do you feel that you are able to physically respond appropriately, as part of the sexual response (meaning: do you feel "wet" and that your vagina is lubricated?).
- Do you have any underlying medical conditions that may be hindering physical enjoyment, and/or causing pain? Have you been evaluated by a Gynecologist?
This fear can be resolved in more (seemingly) simple steps, including: taking more time for foreplay, adding lubrication (bought from the store, such as KY Jelly or Astroglide), knowing your body and communicating with your partner about what feels good, and overall just relaxing and enjoying the time that you are spending being physically close and intimate.
This fear can also be more complicated, as having a previous unwanted experience that is still unknowingly terrifying you or holding you back. It can be psychological or underlying pressure that you have certain expectations about what you/your partner should or should not be doing. You can be in an unhealthy relationship, and your body is responding to this fear by not responding sexually. Your fear can be routed in your childhood, a previous experience, or fear of your current partner.
Can you tell us some of the answers to the above questions, so that we may provide more information to help?
January 21, 2010 - 1:39pmThis Comment
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