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Hi..I have read all 9 pages of this thread & thought its best to talk out my feelings with u instead of just reading what others are going through.. I have been married for 1.8 years now & no successful intercourse despite countless attempts ! Now we are at a point that we try once a month or sometimes even once in two months to see if Im ready or not but I think this has worsen the problem ! I love my husband & he loves me back but we are unable to make this connection just because of my anxiety and fear. I push him, start shouting, cant breath properly when he's about to go inside & I secretly hate myself afterwards ! We have been to gynaecologist. I couldnt even let her touch me & told her to examine some other day & then I never went back ! I dont have any history of abuse & have tried pretty much all lubricants ky, olive oil, vaseline, baby lotion even lidocaine for numbness plus painkiller and muscle relaxant before attempting intercourse, nothing has worked successfully ! My husband has been patient throughout but now im tired ! I'm really looking fwd to some motivating words, tips & suggestions to get me through this.