Hello. I am 23 years old and I am still a virgin. I have a boyfriend for five years now and we never had intercourse. At at the start of our relationship, I told him that I want to wait until I am married. I live in a country with traditional values and I was brought up with the idea that sex must come after marriage. He said he would try to wait and in
the meantime we used other ways to connect sexually. (kissing, touching, oral sex) However, as the years went by, I felt that he is the one I want to marry and I felt like it's alright to have sexual intercourse with him. We tried many times and he is able to arouse and
lubricate me very well but each time he tries to insert his penis, I tense up and when I feel the pain increasing, I tell him to stop. And he does. He respects me and I trust him a lot. We kept trying little by little but every time he starts to insert his penis and I feel pain I tell him to stop. I think maybe he just inserts an inch and I tell him to stop.
The pain is NOT excruciating- I cannot describe the pain and I do feel like I can handle more it's just that I'm afraid of something and I don't know what it is. I think I'm afraid of pain.
I do not have any history of sexual or any other forms of abuse when I was young. I also do not have any known medical conditions or reproductive health issues. I've never been to an OB though, because I'm a virgin. I know my boyfriend wants to have intercourse because it's
been five years and he keeps saying he understands and respects me but I also want to make him fully happy. I am lucky that he is very kind and understanding and he helps me little by little but we just never get to have intercourse because I stop him. I feel like this is something psychological. Do you think maybe deep inside me I feel guilty because I am supposed to wait until marriage? Because that is what's expected of me? Do you think maybe I am afraid of unwanted pregnancy?
Now, I just keep telling him I am sorry I can't do it because I am afraid of pain. That's what I feel. I am afraid of pain. I am afraid that it will be painful and I will be sick when I come home and my parents will notice. It sounds weird but I think of that sometimes. I kind of have a low
tolerance for pain too. However, we have done a lot of other "sexual" stuff like oral sex. That's the only "sexual" thing we do. We touch each other and are very comfortable with it. I also get an orgasm every time he touches me or I touch myself or if we do oral.
I am not afraid of sex, or being intimate. I like thinking about it. I like being intimate. In fact, I am comfortable with my own body and I have tried to insert half of one finger in my vagina a couple times and I didn't feel any pain.
What could be my problem? Is it something psychological? I really want to try and have intercourse with my boyfriend. Our relationship recently turned into long-distance, it will be like that for the next two years. So we can't really see each other and try to have intercourse. But when he comes home, I hope we could do something together, something more
effective than how we used to try. How can I explain to him about my fear of pain? He tells me that it will be painful at first but it will be over soon and we are in it together. I am glad he talks to me that way -that we're together in it. After his two-year stay overseas, we plan to move-
in together and I know sex will still be an issue.
Please help me understand myself better. I am in need of answers. Thank you.
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Hello. I am 23 years old and I am still a virgin. I have a boyfriend for five years now and we never had intercourse. At at the start of our relationship, I told him that I want to wait until I am married. I live in a country with traditional values and I was brought up with the idea that sex must come after marriage. He said he would try to wait and in
October 31, 2012 - 7:00amthe meantime we used other ways to connect sexually. (kissing, touching, oral sex) However, as the years went by, I felt that he is the one I want to marry and I felt like it's alright to have sexual intercourse with him. We tried many times and he is able to arouse and
lubricate me very well but each time he tries to insert his penis, I tense up and when I feel the pain increasing, I tell him to stop. And he does. He respects me and I trust him a lot. We kept trying little by little but every time he starts to insert his penis and I feel pain I tell him to stop. I think maybe he just inserts an inch and I tell him to stop.
The pain is NOT excruciating- I cannot describe the pain and I do feel like I can handle more it's just that I'm afraid of something and I don't know what it is. I think I'm afraid of pain.
I do not have any history of sexual or any other forms of abuse when I was young. I also do not have any known medical conditions or reproductive health issues. I've never been to an OB though, because I'm a virgin. I know my boyfriend wants to have intercourse because it's
been five years and he keeps saying he understands and respects me but I also want to make him fully happy. I am lucky that he is very kind and understanding and he helps me little by little but we just never get to have intercourse because I stop him. I feel like this is something psychological. Do you think maybe deep inside me I feel guilty because I am supposed to wait until marriage? Because that is what's expected of me? Do you think maybe I am afraid of unwanted pregnancy?
Now, I just keep telling him I am sorry I can't do it because I am afraid of pain. That's what I feel. I am afraid of pain. I am afraid that it will be painful and I will be sick when I come home and my parents will notice. It sounds weird but I think of that sometimes. I kind of have a low
tolerance for pain too. However, we have done a lot of other "sexual" stuff like oral sex. That's the only "sexual" thing we do. We touch each other and are very comfortable with it. I also get an orgasm every time he touches me or I touch myself or if we do oral.
I am not afraid of sex, or being intimate. I like thinking about it. I like being intimate. In fact, I am comfortable with my own body and I have tried to insert half of one finger in my vagina a couple times and I didn't feel any pain.
What could be my problem? Is it something psychological? I really want to try and have intercourse with my boyfriend. Our relationship recently turned into long-distance, it will be like that for the next two years. So we can't really see each other and try to have intercourse. But when he comes home, I hope we could do something together, something more
effective than how we used to try. How can I explain to him about my fear of pain? He tells me that it will be painful at first but it will be over soon and we are in it together. I am glad he talks to me that way -that we're together in it. After his two-year stay overseas, we plan to move-
in together and I know sex will still be an issue.
Please help me understand myself better. I am in need of answers. Thank you.
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