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I think the hardest part about learning to be more selfish is learning to let other things go.

If we go to the gym, perhaps the laundry doesn't get done.

If we sit down with a glass of wine and a book, no one takes the kids to soccer practice.

If we give ourselves an hour of time a day, just for us, emails may go unanswered, beds may stay unmade, groceries put off until tomorrow. Or the next day.

And if those things go undone, tomorrow gets worse.

We are so overbudgeted and running like hamsters that when we have some free time, it's almost that we don't know what to do with it. I know my sister, who is a mom to four children from 8 to 21, would look up in astonishment if she ever looked at her calendar and saw an empty hour. (Then she'd take a nap.)

I loved this column, especially the part about checking in with ourselves before we commit to something. My problem is often that it always sounds great when I'm committing to it, but then I regret it later. Maybe if I give myself more time on the front end to make the decision, that will stop happening.

Thanks for the thinking.

July 9, 2009 - 8:31am


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