I could hardly finish reading your commentary, I was so appalled. Your personal opinion and experience on what causes eating disorders hardly constitutes evidenced based best practice. What about real research? What about the high heritability of eating disorders being documented by research? What about evidence-based best practice that states putting families squarely in charge of their loved ones meals is the most effective path back to wellness? If more older anorexics and bulimics had had this approach used at an early stage of their illness, more might be in good health today. More lives might have been saved along the way. This is NOT boundary invasion. This is love of the deepest sort. This is stepping in, stepping up and confronting a deadly and frightening illness. This illness denies, distorts and kills. Too many families, spouses and friends are told to back off, it's not about the food, it's all about contro, boundaries and feelings. Enough. This is WRONG. This is an illness that is most certainly ABOUT FOOD, where families need to be supported to step in, helped to understand the disease and to understand the true lack of control. This is an illness where food, time and love is the medicine. You can't reason with a starving person. Their brain is not functioning well. Their are many cognitive distortions. Yes, there is a time and often a need to deal with anxieties, but AFTER food and full nutrition, AFTER the brain has really had a chance to heal. Real love is seeing and knowing the boundaries and WHEN to step over them. Because, with eating disorders you MUST step over them, even when it feels uncomfortable and abnormal to do so, even when others are telling you not to--in order to save a life. Its often the only way to pull an ill loved one back from the edge.
So, don't tell me--don't tell any family--that their 'boundary violations' caused an eating disorder. Shame on you. You can't know that. It's hurtful, it's disrepectful of other family members who are often in trauma over their loved one, it can create tremendous guilt, and from MY experience its just plain untrue. Worse, it can stop a family from aiding their ill loved one when they need it most, leading to a terrible outcome.
For families: www.maudsleyparents.org
www.eatingwithyouranorexic.com
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I could hardly finish reading your commentary, I was so appalled. Your personal opinion and experience on what causes eating disorders hardly constitutes evidenced based best practice. What about real research? What about the high heritability of eating disorders being documented by research? What about evidence-based best practice that states putting families squarely in charge of their loved ones meals is the most effective path back to wellness? If more older anorexics and bulimics had had this approach used at an early stage of their illness, more might be in good health today. More lives might have been saved along the way. This is NOT boundary invasion. This is love of the deepest sort. This is stepping in, stepping up and confronting a deadly and frightening illness. This illness denies, distorts and kills. Too many families, spouses and friends are told to back off, it's not about the food, it's all about contro, boundaries and feelings. Enough. This is WRONG. This is an illness that is most certainly ABOUT FOOD, where families need to be supported to step in, helped to understand the disease and to understand the true lack of control. This is an illness where food, time and love is the medicine. You can't reason with a starving person. Their brain is not functioning well. Their are many cognitive distortions. Yes, there is a time and often a need to deal with anxieties, but AFTER food and full nutrition, AFTER the brain has really had a chance to heal. Real love is seeing and knowing the boundaries and WHEN to step over them. Because, with eating disorders you MUST step over them, even when it feels uncomfortable and abnormal to do so, even when others are telling you not to--in order to save a life. Its often the only way to pull an ill loved one back from the edge.
So, don't tell me--don't tell any family--that their 'boundary violations' caused an eating disorder. Shame on you. You can't know that. It's hurtful, it's disrepectful of other family members who are often in trauma over their loved one, it can create tremendous guilt, and from MY experience its just plain untrue. Worse, it can stop a family from aiding their ill loved one when they need it most, leading to a terrible outcome.
For families: www.maudsleyparents.org
www.eatingwithyouranorexic.com
anne
June 2, 2009 - 7:30pmThis Comment
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