I've read everyone's posts so far, and yours was one of my favorites.
"Take SEX OFF the table for 2 more weeks, do not even allow it to be an option"
I love this advice! I really think that might help me.
I am having the same problem as all of you are, and we've only been together 11 months, 1 year on May 10th.
He just started at an overnight job 3 months ago, which has made a drastic change in our time spent together. He has to sleep a lot of the day, and when he is awake, we've been having trouble being even remotely romantic sometimes, he seems like a vegetable a lot. Most days, I get a few pecks on the lips or cheeks and that's it.
I feel lucky to get a huge sincere hug or to make out.
I've been through all of those feelings of "it's me" and feeling unwanted and lost my self esteem but I'm gaining it back because I've really been researching this on the internet and have come to find that he isn't cheating, it's NOT me, he's just really really tired and stressed because he's supporting us both right now!!
We talk about everything, and I mean everything. We never fight, we discuss it, I mean sometimes I raise my voice because I'm frustrated or having an anxiety attack but he always stays calm. I love this and everything else about him except for the lack of affection lately.
He knows how I feel about this situation, and I've discussed it in every single way you can imagine. Now i'm to a point where I feel like I might disgust him if I touch him. I pretty sure that's just me but I hear that new song by Trey Songz "Neighbors Know My Name" which talks about them having such intimate sex and so loud that the neighbors know his name. My boyfriend loves this song, and today I turned it off and told him it sickened me to hear other people getting to be intimate.
I have soooo much resentment that I need to get rid of and I know this, because I feel terrible for always making comments about the LACK of our love life. It hasn't helped, and after reading your post I know it has only hurt the situation, and put an outrageous amount of stress on him. More stress, we definitely didn't need that!
So I'm taking your advice (it will be hard, I might have to get tape to shut my mouth!) But I really think this would relieve a lot of his stress just in the bedroom, and maybe after he feels not so pressured to have sex, maybe it will happen more. and maybe all of that will help relieve some of his other stress!
But thanks for the advice, I'm gonna listen to it, and I'll let you know how it goes!
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I've read everyone's posts so far, and yours was one of my favorites.
"Take SEX OFF the table for 2 more weeks, do not even allow it to be an option"
I love this advice! I really think that might help me.
I am having the same problem as all of you are, and we've only been together 11 months, 1 year on May 10th.
He just started at an overnight job 3 months ago, which has made a drastic change in our time spent together. He has to sleep a lot of the day, and when he is awake, we've been having trouble being even remotely romantic sometimes, he seems like a vegetable a lot. Most days, I get a few pecks on the lips or cheeks and that's it.
I feel lucky to get a huge sincere hug or to make out.
I've been through all of those feelings of "it's me" and feeling unwanted and lost my self esteem but I'm gaining it back because I've really been researching this on the internet and have come to find that he isn't cheating, it's NOT me, he's just really really tired and stressed because he's supporting us both right now!!
We talk about everything, and I mean everything. We never fight, we discuss it, I mean sometimes I raise my voice because I'm frustrated or having an anxiety attack but he always stays calm. I love this and everything else about him except for the lack of affection lately.
He knows how I feel about this situation, and I've discussed it in every single way you can imagine. Now i'm to a point where I feel like I might disgust him if I touch him. I pretty sure that's just me but I hear that new song by Trey Songz "Neighbors Know My Name" which talks about them having such intimate sex and so loud that the neighbors know his name. My boyfriend loves this song, and today I turned it off and told him it sickened me to hear other people getting to be intimate.
I have soooo much resentment that I need to get rid of and I know this, because I feel terrible for always making comments about the LACK of our love life. It hasn't helped, and after reading your post I know it has only hurt the situation, and put an outrageous amount of stress on him. More stress, we definitely didn't need that!
So I'm taking your advice (it will be hard, I might have to get tape to shut my mouth!) But I really think this would relieve a lot of his stress just in the bedroom, and maybe after he feels not so pressured to have sex, maybe it will happen more. and maybe all of that will help relieve some of his other stress!
April 17, 2010 - 4:22amBut thanks for the advice, I'm gonna listen to it, and I'll let you know how it goes!
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