Ladies... I have some thoughts.
One is this... I talked to my husband about it after reading a different post on this site and I feel pretty strongly about my thoughts on it. Right or wrong... Back in the earlier days, women were primarily raised to think sex was bad or wrong or dirty or whatever... Mother's didn't talk to their daughters about it and women surely didn't discuss it amongst themselves. Most women were housewives and they believed that their lot in life was to be responsible for their husbands happiness. Don't make a fuss, don't tell him no, keep a perfect house and cook the food. Basically ~ be June Cleaver.
They saw sex as a chore and were never taught (Thank the Lord for women like Dr. Laura Berman on Oprah radio) to please themselves, get in touch with their sexual side and know what they like and how they like it done. They didn't think that was part of the set up and why would they? No one really did (for the most part).
Then, thanks to the pioneer women in the 70's for paving the way, women started taking a place in the work force ~ demanding respect, demanding equal rights and equal pay. We grew stronger and more confident and in that we wanted to satisfaction from sex that men got.
Ok, this next part is a bit of a gender biase, so sorry ahead of time... but on the WHOLE not ALL but, most men love to call the shots, they love to "take" the woman and they love to make sure they are pleased! Believe me, I am all good with that... be charge in there! :-)
However, in all of that... women's needs needed to be met. It is harder for women to reach orgasm than it is for men (in some aspects... as we all know). I think a lot of men have turned to visual stimulation (that doesn't have so much "pressure" of performance) out of internet porn.
NOT ALL, but you'd be surprised how many... it is so EASILY accessible and she does whatever he likes and he doesn't have to 'wait' for her to finish. I honestly believe (as does my husband) that "that" school of thought is unbelievably selfish - to be blunt - and it's naive. Most men "when they have really reached sexual maturity" meaning they GET IT - the whole big picture, not just their own business downstairs - they enjoy the challenge of getting her there. They actually enjoy finishing "even more" themselves afterward, because it is such a turn on to them to experience that with her... and the anticipation of having to hold out is icing on the cake!!
Does all of this make sense... I definitely tried to summarize my thoughts, even though it is really long.
Basically, "your" man (husband, boyfriend, sex partner or whatever) really has to be "in love" with you. Not just "in" the relationship. But "in love", you know the feeling... in the beginning, that when you are lucky ~ still shows itself on and off during the business of our lives... because of course that feeling matures to a "better" level.
But those sexual experiences (I described above about a man's sexual maturity) renew that "in love" feeling again and again.
If you don't call a spade a spade, if you allow your sex life to continue on the way it does... it will not only crush your ZEST for love and sex and passion... it will rob you of what each of us DESERVES!!
Don't enable unhealthy behavior in a relationship. Don't allow him the cop out of "excuses after excuses" - get it on the table, make him talk whether he FEELS like it or not. Tell him to put up or hit the road. I know it sounds cruel, but the BS sex life is cruel too!
Life is too short!!! Be with someone who desires you all day long... so much so that you can tell when he gets his hands on ya!! ;-)
Hope it helped and sorry if I offended any males or females alike... wasn't my intention!!!! I just really think everyone deserves happiness and being the giver all the time, is unfair and insulting!
Now... go and make some changes, ASAP - It might take a few times of trying on shoes till you find the right pair (so to speak) but once you find that perfect fit... You will wonder what the Heck you were thinking...
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Ladies... I have some thoughts.
One is this... I talked to my husband about it after reading a different post on this site and I feel pretty strongly about my thoughts on it. Right or wrong... Back in the earlier days, women were primarily raised to think sex was bad or wrong or dirty or whatever... Mother's didn't talk to their daughters about it and women surely didn't discuss it amongst themselves. Most women were housewives and they believed that their lot in life was to be responsible for their husbands happiness. Don't make a fuss, don't tell him no, keep a perfect house and cook the food. Basically ~ be June Cleaver.
They saw sex as a chore and were never taught (Thank the Lord for women like Dr. Laura Berman on Oprah radio) to please themselves, get in touch with their sexual side and know what they like and how they like it done. They didn't think that was part of the set up and why would they? No one really did (for the most part).
Then, thanks to the pioneer women in the 70's for paving the way, women started taking a place in the work force ~ demanding respect, demanding equal rights and equal pay. We grew stronger and more confident and in that we wanted to satisfaction from sex that men got.
Ok, this next part is a bit of a gender biase, so sorry ahead of time... but on the WHOLE not ALL but, most men love to call the shots, they love to "take" the woman and they love to make sure they are pleased! Believe me, I am all good with that... be charge in there! :-)
However, in all of that... women's needs needed to be met. It is harder for women to reach orgasm than it is for men (in some aspects... as we all know). I think a lot of men have turned to visual stimulation (that doesn't have so much "pressure" of performance) out of internet porn.
NOT ALL, but you'd be surprised how many... it is so EASILY accessible and she does whatever he likes and he doesn't have to 'wait' for her to finish. I honestly believe (as does my husband) that "that" school of thought is unbelievably selfish - to be blunt - and it's naive. Most men "when they have really reached sexual maturity" meaning they GET IT - the whole big picture, not just their own business downstairs - they enjoy the challenge of getting her there. They actually enjoy finishing "even more" themselves afterward, because it is such a turn on to them to experience that with her... and the anticipation of having to hold out is icing on the cake!!
Does all of this make sense... I definitely tried to summarize my thoughts, even though it is really long.
Basically, "your" man (husband, boyfriend, sex partner or whatever) really has to be "in love" with you. Not just "in" the relationship. But "in love", you know the feeling... in the beginning, that when you are lucky ~ still shows itself on and off during the business of our lives... because of course that feeling matures to a "better" level.
But those sexual experiences (I described above about a man's sexual maturity) renew that "in love" feeling again and again.
If you don't call a spade a spade, if you allow your sex life to continue on the way it does... it will not only crush your ZEST for love and sex and passion... it will rob you of what each of us DESERVES!!
Don't enable unhealthy behavior in a relationship. Don't allow him the cop out of "excuses after excuses" - get it on the table, make him talk whether he FEELS like it or not. Tell him to put up or hit the road. I know it sounds cruel, but the BS sex life is cruel too!
Life is too short!!! Be with someone who desires you all day long... so much so that you can tell when he gets his hands on ya!! ;-)
Hope it helped and sorry if I offended any males or females alike... wasn't my intention!!!! I just really think everyone deserves happiness and being the giver all the time, is unfair and insulting!
August 11, 2009 - 10:13amNow... go and make some changes, ASAP - It might take a few times of trying on shoes till you find the right pair (so to speak) but once you find that perfect fit... You will wonder what the Heck you were thinking...
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