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Sadnoh,
Thanks for sharing and sorry about your frustrations...the way is see it, nothing is wrong with you. 112 lbs at 5'3"? That's tiny! And you've had four kids? A little gut is totally acceptable after four kids! What his is problem? Maybe he's just not sensitive enough to say it tactly, maybe he wants you to firm up but by no means are you overweight based on the numbers you gave here! I wonder if he's so hot himself? He better look in the mirror. (Please excuse my cynicism and sarcasm) I am petite too, but do not have kids, and so I know what the numbers look like in a petite frame. I'm a lot shorter than you but my pounds don't go far from yours so I know that is not fat. For a woman who's had four kids, your weight is pretty amazing. As far, as men, sorry men if anyone of you are reading this, but my general consensus with them is most of them are sexually lazy. Not all, mind you, just most.
Men, please go online and look up RevolutionarySex to learn how to keep and please your women. Yes sex isn't all there is to a relationship, and it's not the most important thing in a relationship, but IT IS important to women (newsflash!). It's the glue that holds the relationship together, and it's a clue that things are going well in a relationship. When the sex isn't there, or are very little then we women feel something is off and we don't feel secure. Not to mention when you please us (and not just worried about pleasing yourself), then it shows that you love us and care about us. And the plus is when we are happy and satisfied, the more we will want to satisfy you! It’s a win-win situation.
Sadnoh, is money an object for you? If it isn't and if doesn't hurt too much to leave this man and, I'd say move out to get a place of your own. I think it is for your best interest. If the stakes are not that high...if what's he's providing you outweighs the sexual problem, then think hard. Otherwise, I'd say take a RISK. We do have options and we play it too safe sometimes. If I was in your position, I would love to decorate my own place and let it be my sanctuary. Life is too short to be not living your happiness...If things get better between the two of you after you move out and you have your own place, then you would have solved two problems. Or you may attract a new person who won't probably be as lazy as he is sexually. But I say, start with yourself and also begin to be more giving sexually too (not that I'm saying you are not already) but to actually enjoy it, and educate yourself sexually. Embrace your feminine sexuality, and learn to be a better lover, etc. When we are these ourselves we attract and inspire the same from our partner. Maybe they will change eventually when they see the change in you. I'm just telling you the things I am doing and working on myself also. This goes for the other women here also. And for the men, I say hit the books, go to Barnes and Nobles and buy a book on how to please us, or go online, instead of watching your porn, you should be looking for sites with educational how-to's about pleasing the special woman in your life. Flexing your brain will get you out of your rut. By the way Sadnoh, about your guy “working on his boat”…I don’t see anything wrong with that. Let him. It’s what floats his boat. The male species just operates that way…being productive relaxes them…so don’t hold this against him. That’s equivalent of women having chats over coffee with girlfriends. Maybe sometime, hang out with him while he’s “working on his boat”.
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Sadnoh,
Thanks for sharing and sorry about your frustrations...the way is see it, nothing is wrong with you. 112 lbs at 5'3"? That's tiny! And you've had four kids? A little gut is totally acceptable after four kids! What his is problem? Maybe he's just not sensitive enough to say it tactly, maybe he wants you to firm up but by no means are you overweight based on the numbers you gave here! I wonder if he's so hot himself? He better look in the mirror. (Please excuse my cynicism and sarcasm) I am petite too, but do not have kids, and so I know what the numbers look like in a petite frame. I'm a lot shorter than you but my pounds don't go far from yours so I know that is not fat. For a woman who's had four kids, your weight is pretty amazing. As far, as men, sorry men if anyone of you are reading this, but my general consensus with them is most of them are sexually lazy. Not all, mind you, just most.
Men, please go online and look up RevolutionarySex to learn how to keep and please your women. Yes sex isn't all there is to a relationship, and it's not the most important thing in a relationship, but IT IS important to women (newsflash!). It's the glue that holds the relationship together, and it's a clue that things are going well in a relationship. When the sex isn't there, or are very little then we women feel something is off and we don't feel secure. Not to mention when you please us (and not just worried about pleasing yourself), then it shows that you love us and care about us. And the plus is when we are happy and satisfied, the more we will want to satisfy you! It’s a win-win situation.
Sadnoh, is money an object for you? If it isn't and if doesn't hurt too much to leave this man and, I'd say move out to get a place of your own. I think it is for your best interest. If the stakes are not that high...if what's he's providing you outweighs the sexual problem, then think hard. Otherwise, I'd say take a RISK. We do have options and we play it too safe sometimes. If I was in your position, I would love to decorate my own place and let it be my sanctuary. Life is too short to be not living your happiness...If things get better between the two of you after you move out and you have your own place, then you would have solved two problems. Or you may attract a new person who won't probably be as lazy as he is sexually. But I say, start with yourself and also begin to be more giving sexually too (not that I'm saying you are not already) but to actually enjoy it, and educate yourself sexually. Embrace your feminine sexuality, and learn to be a better lover, etc. When we are these ourselves we attract and inspire the same from our partner. Maybe they will change eventually when they see the change in you. I'm just telling you the things I am doing and working on myself also. This goes for the other women here also. And for the men, I say hit the books, go to Barnes and Nobles and buy a book on how to please us, or go online, instead of watching your porn, you should be looking for sites with educational how-to's about pleasing the special woman in your life. Flexing your brain will get you out of your rut. By the way Sadnoh, about your guy “working on his boat”…I don’t see anything wrong with that. Let him. It’s what floats his boat. The male species just operates that way…being productive relaxes them…so don’t hold this against him. That’s equivalent of women having chats over coffee with girlfriends. Maybe sometime, hang out with him while he’s “working on his boat”.
July 26, 2009 - 10:17amThis Comment
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