I have spent my whole day off work reading this, in between cleaning and a couple of calls from my gorgeous man who is intersate. I just cant beleive this blog has gone on so long and so many of you other women have endured the same.
Yes i searched and found this due to being in the same situation. Ironic i was married for 18 yrs and i was the one who didnt want sex, he always tried though. It broke up as he had an affair but by that time we had started having sex again prior to the affair.
Anyway here i am 6 yrs later another failed relationship in between.
Now after the last failed relationship were i figured that if i wasnt good enough to be intimate with then i was moving on (honestly i wasnt happy in that relationship, bit of a manipulating pig !), i am now very happy and extremely in love with my current guy of 1yr. But alas same problem, caught him after knocking me back one work morning to go downstairs with a mag and masturbate. Blew my self esteem, felt unloved, lied to, started wondering why am i here if he doesnt want me for that as well as all the other great stuff our relationship provides. He also wants to cuddle all the time. Now i know we get complacent as the relationship gets content. and i know men are visual creatures and need a release even when time is short before getting off to work in time, so the porn is forgiven somewhat, hell ive used it. Still hurts a bit mostly to be rejected. i love sex especially with him, first man to make me orgasm with intercourse, but i gotta wonder have i been too much of a pest by always wanting it more than he does or the fact i had toys (he didnt like them and actually hid it). Have i made him feel inadequate somehow. We are now having sex once a fortnight, which i would expect after a few years not one. We are with each other all the time except work time and i doubt he is cheating, no signs there, he has put on a few kg's so maybe body image. But i often tell him i love him any way he is. Women are not so visual. And when i get off on my own its his love making i think of for stimulation. I have never felt as compatible or so loved and respected as i do from him, and vice versa. But the fear that if he resorts back to masturbation instead of me will definitely not help in keeping that respect as you could imagine.
I am slim and look after myself and dress sexy and stylish and not provacative/slutty or give him any reason to not trust me. I would never cheat and am very happy. This he knows im sure, which makes me think maybe these men just get so secure that sex is no longer a priority but a release for stress occasionally. I do feel he gets his intmacy from our cuddles too. He is male and looks at beautiful women, if he didnt id worry. He is easy to talk to and i know he wants me to be happy but i have had one talk about it in the past when i caught him and twice is a nag in a mans mind. We are finacially secure and dont have too many stresses. We both work and share household duties (although i do majority as have more time), he is very giving in this area as well as the bedroom when he feels like sex its great. I have tried just satisfying him but know he prefers to see me get satisfied because thats what does it for him.
He is 46 so maybe hes labido has dwindled but why the porn ? or is that part of use it or lose it. We women will never understand you men. I know the important factors of whats important to men; who they are what they are worth and the cookie but he doesnt seem interested in cookie now he has the rest...maybe cus he knows he has it whenever he wants. i dont want to reject him though because i know that can make things worse.
This all leads me to think maybe it is me, maybe im looking at what i want all wrongly. Maybe i dont want sex that much either, maybe i just want to know he is attracted to me for my own security and maybe thats why he doesnt feel the need to hunt me for sex cus he already feels secure.
Just a thought.
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I have spent my whole day off work reading this, in between cleaning and a couple of calls from my gorgeous man who is intersate. I just cant beleive this blog has gone on so long and so many of you other women have endured the same.
Yes i searched and found this due to being in the same situation. Ironic i was married for 18 yrs and i was the one who didnt want sex, he always tried though. It broke up as he had an affair but by that time we had started having sex again prior to the affair.
Anyway here i am 6 yrs later another failed relationship in between.
Now after the last failed relationship were i figured that if i wasnt good enough to be intimate with then i was moving on (honestly i wasnt happy in that relationship, bit of a manipulating pig !), i am now very happy and extremely in love with my current guy of 1yr. But alas same problem, caught him after knocking me back one work morning to go downstairs with a mag and masturbate. Blew my self esteem, felt unloved, lied to, started wondering why am i here if he doesnt want me for that as well as all the other great stuff our relationship provides. He also wants to cuddle all the time. Now i know we get complacent as the relationship gets content. and i know men are visual creatures and need a release even when time is short before getting off to work in time, so the porn is forgiven somewhat, hell ive used it. Still hurts a bit mostly to be rejected. i love sex especially with him, first man to make me orgasm with intercourse, but i gotta wonder have i been too much of a pest by always wanting it more than he does or the fact i had toys (he didnt like them and actually hid it). Have i made him feel inadequate somehow. We are now having sex once a fortnight, which i would expect after a few years not one. We are with each other all the time except work time and i doubt he is cheating, no signs there, he has put on a few kg's so maybe body image. But i often tell him i love him any way he is. Women are not so visual. And when i get off on my own its his love making i think of for stimulation. I have never felt as compatible or so loved and respected as i do from him, and vice versa. But the fear that if he resorts back to masturbation instead of me will definitely not help in keeping that respect as you could imagine.
I am slim and look after myself and dress sexy and stylish and not provacative/slutty or give him any reason to not trust me. I would never cheat and am very happy. This he knows im sure, which makes me think maybe these men just get so secure that sex is no longer a priority but a release for stress occasionally. I do feel he gets his intmacy from our cuddles too. He is male and looks at beautiful women, if he didnt id worry. He is easy to talk to and i know he wants me to be happy but i have had one talk about it in the past when i caught him and twice is a nag in a mans mind. We are finacially secure and dont have too many stresses. We both work and share household duties (although i do majority as have more time), he is very giving in this area as well as the bedroom when he feels like sex its great. I have tried just satisfying him but know he prefers to see me get satisfied because thats what does it for him.
He is 46 so maybe hes labido has dwindled but why the porn ? or is that part of use it or lose it. We women will never understand you men. I know the important factors of whats important to men; who they are what they are worth and the cookie but he doesnt seem interested in cookie now he has the rest...maybe cus he knows he has it whenever he wants. i dont want to reject him though because i know that can make things worse.
May 15, 2012 - 3:28amThis all leads me to think maybe it is me, maybe im looking at what i want all wrongly. Maybe i dont want sex that much either, maybe i just want to know he is attracted to me for my own security and maybe thats why he doesnt feel the need to hunt me for sex cus he already feels secure.
Just a thought.
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