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Hello, I'm 15 years old and have never had any form of sexual activity until this summer. I never wanted to have sex until I was married or at least much older and in a long-term serious relationship, but over the summer I was in a relationship with a somewhat manipulative boy who despite knowing my opinions on teenage/college sex continuously tried persuading me into having sex with him, and eventually managed to do so. After losing my virginity, we did have sex a few more times because after I'd lost it I just didn't care anymore. I ended up breaking up with him, after finally realizing his cheating on me and the fact that he obviously didn't love me if he was trying to force me to do things that I was not comfortable with. A few weeks after we broke up I cried almost every night ashamed of what I'd done with him but have recently been okay after talking with the youth priest at my school and deciding not to have sexual contact again until I'm married. But then a few weeks ago my first pap came back abnormal. I started going to a gynecologist because bad cramps from my period were worsening my acid reflex, and was put on the pill for it - although this was after I'd lost my virginity, but I have not had sex since my first appointment/pap test. My mom assured me that sometimes paps just come back abnormal and there was nothing to be worried about. My gynecologist did a colposcopy(spelling?) and the results showed that I was positive for HPV and had mild dysplasia. She said that this will most likely go away on it's own and had me schedule a pap test for four months from now. I've read that HPV usually becomes dormant, but I'm so scared that it could develop into cancer. I'm crying just writing this because I just can't believe that I have an STD. Will I pass this on to other partners or children I may have when I'm older even if it is dormant? I know that this is all my own fault for having sex in the first place, but I just want to be able to move on from this mistake and have this off my shoulders. I feel so dirty and stupid for not standing up for my morals instead of giving in to him.

December 20, 2010 - 6:29pm


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