Hi anon,
Interesting question...how old is too old to have a baby?
I would love to hear what your thoughts are, as the pros and cons that everyone will provide are most likely the ones you already know. I'm wondering if anyone can really tell you anything you haven't thought of yet? Are you hoping for some inspiration or motivation to make a choice?
I assume the cons are most likely what you will hear the most, as it takes even longer to conceive after the "magical age" of 35, and if/when you conceive, there are higher risks for miscarriage, pre-mature birth, birth defects and so on. Your health and your husbands health are factors, too.
The pros for having children later in life are also plentiful. The phrase "older and wiser" is really true with children, as you have more real-life experiences that will help you parent your child, and as a parent already, you have parenting-skills fined-tuned. You may have more patience, not feel like you are "missing out" on a night-life, etc. You may be more financially secure as well, and feel like you can provide more one-on-one attention without as many distractions.
The question really comes down to you and your husband. There are many women having children in their early-40s, and this is becoming more socially acceptable. Women in their mid-40s and upper-40s is not as common. How would you feel being 5-10 years older than other moms, as far as having the emotional and social support that is so crucial with a newborn, infant and toddler? What are the pros and cons of having a "second family" and another child going into high school and college, once your older children are likely having children of their own?
Are you most concerned with the health-aspects of having a child in your late-40s, whether it be your health, or the health of the baby? I think a real question to ask yourselves is: with an increased chance of a baby with birth defects, what genetic testing would you do, and what would you do if the results came back positive? (Honestly, I think every person and couple having a baby should think about this, regardless of age!).
Are you most concerned about the social aspects of having a child in your late-40s, as far as how old you'll be when they are in high school, college or another milestone? Are you concerned about the social support that you would/would not have? What are your long-term plans for retirement, and are you prepared to have a later-than-typical retirement?
No matter what age of the mom, all of the concerns above are valid and worth thinking-through. It is a tough decision, as women in their 20s, 30s and 40s are having to make choices about having babies and what this does to change their career path, their identity, their social support, finances...everything.
I would love to hear your thoughts! Do you have any questions specifically on how older maternal age impacts the health of the baby or mother, or how it is more beneficial to the baby? Older paternal age is also a factor, that we didn't mention. Let me know if you'd like any additional information, as I'd be happy to research it for you (instead of just my opinion).
Oh, and my last thought. I've realized that when I was trying to decide if it is a "good, smart, wise decision" to have a baby, the answer was always "no". Honestly, it doesn't make sense, if you think about it! Babies and children take time, money, hard-work, patience, dedication, 100% commitment, need constant care and attention, newborns need care 24/7...who would actually say "yes! this sounds like the job for me!?" :-)
I think the reason people have children is because they look at their life years down the road, and see a future with kids. Or, they see a bigger family, or feel like they have more love to give, or some other intangible dream. There are plenty of "reasonable" reasons to not have kids, and the reasons to decide to have kids are primarily the emotional ones...and those intangible reasons can only be made by you and your family.
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Hi anon,
Interesting question...how old is too old to have a baby?
I would love to hear what your thoughts are, as the pros and cons that everyone will provide are most likely the ones you already know. I'm wondering if anyone can really tell you anything you haven't thought of yet? Are you hoping for some inspiration or motivation to make a choice?
I assume the cons are most likely what you will hear the most, as it takes even longer to conceive after the "magical age" of 35, and if/when you conceive, there are higher risks for miscarriage, pre-mature birth, birth defects and so on. Your health and your husbands health are factors, too.
The pros for having children later in life are also plentiful. The phrase "older and wiser" is really true with children, as you have more real-life experiences that will help you parent your child, and as a parent already, you have parenting-skills fined-tuned. You may have more patience, not feel like you are "missing out" on a night-life, etc. You may be more financially secure as well, and feel like you can provide more one-on-one attention without as many distractions.
The question really comes down to you and your husband. There are many women having children in their early-40s, and this is becoming more socially acceptable. Women in their mid-40s and upper-40s is not as common. How would you feel being 5-10 years older than other moms, as far as having the emotional and social support that is so crucial with a newborn, infant and toddler? What are the pros and cons of having a "second family" and another child going into high school and college, once your older children are likely having children of their own?
Are you most concerned with the health-aspects of having a child in your late-40s, whether it be your health, or the health of the baby? I think a real question to ask yourselves is: with an increased chance of a baby with birth defects, what genetic testing would you do, and what would you do if the results came back positive? (Honestly, I think every person and couple having a baby should think about this, regardless of age!).
Are you most concerned about the social aspects of having a child in your late-40s, as far as how old you'll be when they are in high school, college or another milestone? Are you concerned about the social support that you would/would not have? What are your long-term plans for retirement, and are you prepared to have a later-than-typical retirement?
No matter what age of the mom, all of the concerns above are valid and worth thinking-through. It is a tough decision, as women in their 20s, 30s and 40s are having to make choices about having babies and what this does to change their career path, their identity, their social support, finances...everything.
I would love to hear your thoughts! Do you have any questions specifically on how older maternal age impacts the health of the baby or mother, or how it is more beneficial to the baby? Older paternal age is also a factor, that we didn't mention. Let me know if you'd like any additional information, as I'd be happy to research it for you (instead of just my opinion).
Oh, and my last thought. I've realized that when I was trying to decide if it is a "good, smart, wise decision" to have a baby, the answer was always "no". Honestly, it doesn't make sense, if you think about it! Babies and children take time, money, hard-work, patience, dedication, 100% commitment, need constant care and attention, newborns need care 24/7...who would actually say "yes! this sounds like the job for me!?" :-)
I think the reason people have children is because they look at their life years down the road, and see a future with kids. Or, they see a bigger family, or feel like they have more love to give, or some other intangible dream. There are plenty of "reasonable" reasons to not have kids, and the reasons to decide to have kids are primarily the emotional ones...and those intangible reasons can only be made by you and your family.
April 9, 2009 - 1:16pmThis Comment
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