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EmpowHER Guest

I am glad to find I am not alone. I have been with my husband for 8 years, since I was 18, married almost 2 years now. We had great sex in the beginning,he wanted to try diff. things etc. About 3-4 years ago it slowed down. Weeks went by without sex. Then he would not last long nor try to continue to please me after he was done. I tried to talk to him about it, but he didn't want to continue to please me when he was done. He felt bad that he didn't last long, but I said we could do other things and it was okay.
Eventually I got upset because he appeared not to want to please me. It seemed like he wanted to be satisfied and didn't care if I was. So this went on for a while and of course the sex decreased. There was a period in there where it got better. But recently, we went 4 months without sex and I broke. I actually left him for a few days, but returned.
He says he feels that he isn't good enough in bed. I try to build him up and tell him we can do other things and I don't mind, practice makes perfect. I try to be understanding, but he says he is nervous because in the past i have been upset when he hasn't satisfied me.
We grew apart and affection was little to none. I tried everything, of course making the cycle worse, because I tried to "Fix" it by dressing up, surprising him, and only to be rejected, which made me feel worse, which in turn made him feel worse.
So we have been in this cycle, then i just let go. And that's when we didn't have sex for 4 months. He was fine not talking about it or dealing with it. He doesn't want to go to counseling or anything else and doesn't want to acknowledge there is a problem. So I'm giving it maybe 6 months and continuing to feel the pain every time I am rejected. He says it will get betterand we will try. So we had amazing sex a few weeks ago, and now he is rejecting me again. I know I am only 26, young, and I can't take it, but I do love him and will work it out if it can be. But I also know I can't wait around for his self-esteem to get better. I have tried complimenting him, and all sorts of things to help his self-esteem. I have physically pleasedhim and expected nothing in return. I don't know what else I can do, but I feel as you all do... "2 inches tall". It's good to know we aren't alone.

October 23, 2011 - 7:51pm


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