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(reply to Anonymous)

I am asking myself that same question over and over again. I know I love him, he says he loves me. But I just dont feel as if we are truly a couple. How do you tell a man to go when you feel as if your heart is being ripped in two? I admit, this would be easier if he wasnt living with me, I can also admit I would have taken the easy way out and left him while he was at work on day.
I have told him to leave, but he can't leave right then. I think if he was able to just go, when I have finally built the strength to let him go, I wouldnt back down and let him stay.
Maybe that is my solution, I need to make sure he has enough money to just go when i say you need to go.
And yes, I know where he goes is not my problem or worry, but I cant help feeling some sort of responsibility for him. He left all he knew to move here and be with me. He is now in a new town with no friends, no family. I just find it so hard to be so cruel to him and say, Go, I dont care what happens to you, just go. Truth is I care what happens to him. I appear to be in love with someone that does not desire me, what a kick in the A**.
I pray for the strength and fortitude to let him go. May I one day find it, cuz I cant keep going on like this, it is making me physically ill to want and not be wanted back.

November 29, 2010 - 8:40am


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