Thank you, Christine, for your concern. This list is a lifesaver. When I challenge him on the rude staring of women he answered that, "maybe this is just who I am." I can't get this comment out of my mind. I responded, "what if I had an addiction to giving men oral sex in our home right before you came home from work so that you would 'catch us in the act'. That these men are always handsomer, more successful, and have larger penises than yours? Could you accept that as 'just who I am?' ...well, of course hot!" He has recently told me that he spoke out of turn and that he really didn't mean that. I am no therapist, but the way I see it, when he is stressed and depressed he goes off by himself to fantasy land instead of turning to the person who loves him...me. His fantasies involve very young women as ideal partners...partners that do not demand anything for they are fantasies. All women will demand something from a man, but he likes to imagine a woman that does not. He further falls into this "alone" state by watching endless TV and looking at online porn. I have taken away all of the porn potential in the house and I am trying to bring him back from his alone place with loads of sex and hugging. He needs to turn to a real live woman and learn to work with me to handle his fear of intimacy. If this sounds very mature of me, I must admit that there are moments when I can't stop screaming at him for all that he has done to me, which does not help things. I have been prescribed xanax (sp?) and when I have an anxiety attack before bed I will take only a half tab as prescribed. The depression meds only made things worse. I have been diagnosed with temporary depression and anxiety based upon my husband's recent revelations. I can't say enough to the entire list that marriage counseling, if you can get your spouse to attend, is invaluable. If he agrees to go then both of you are on the way to recovery. Why I put up with his behavior is key to me. My guess is that I felt guilty for my affair but I also think that I was following in my mother's footsteps. My father was a hopeless philander...a loving dad, but he would emotionally abuse my mother every night and she took it. To all of the wonderful women on this list, don't have your story last as long as mine. Think better of yourself, keep youself up (for your own sake), and show him that a loving family life with a healthy sex life if a blessing only the stupid guys pass up.
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Thank you, Christine, for your concern. This list is a lifesaver. When I challenge him on the rude staring of women he answered that, "maybe this is just who I am." I can't get this comment out of my mind. I responded, "what if I had an addiction to giving men oral sex in our home right before you came home from work so that you would 'catch us in the act'. That these men are always handsomer, more successful, and have larger penises than yours? Could you accept that as 'just who I am?' ...well, of course hot!" He has recently told me that he spoke out of turn and that he really didn't mean that. I am no therapist, but the way I see it, when he is stressed and depressed he goes off by himself to fantasy land instead of turning to the person who loves him...me. His fantasies involve very young women as ideal partners...partners that do not demand anything for they are fantasies. All women will demand something from a man, but he likes to imagine a woman that does not. He further falls into this "alone" state by watching endless TV and looking at online porn. I have taken away all of the porn potential in the house and I am trying to bring him back from his alone place with loads of sex and hugging. He needs to turn to a real live woman and learn to work with me to handle his fear of intimacy. If this sounds very mature of me, I must admit that there are moments when I can't stop screaming at him for all that he has done to me, which does not help things. I have been prescribed xanax (sp?) and when I have an anxiety attack before bed I will take only a half tab as prescribed. The depression meds only made things worse. I have been diagnosed with temporary depression and anxiety based upon my husband's recent revelations. I can't say enough to the entire list that marriage counseling, if you can get your spouse to attend, is invaluable. If he agrees to go then both of you are on the way to recovery. Why I put up with his behavior is key to me. My guess is that I felt guilty for my affair but I also think that I was following in my mother's footsteps. My father was a hopeless philander...a loving dad, but he would emotionally abuse my mother every night and she took it. To all of the wonderful women on this list, don't have your story last as long as mine. Think better of yourself, keep youself up (for your own sake), and show him that a loving family life with a healthy sex life if a blessing only the stupid guys pass up.
October 7, 2010 - 6:32amThis Comment
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