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I have been marrien for 2 years and 6 months. Since we got married he changed. Since a few months back I have been asking him why. We have sex once every week or two or three or etc. If dont try, it will never happens. A few months ago I told him you dont want to be with be for one of three reasons: 1) he just didnt find me attractive, 2) he was meeting his sexual needs somewhere else, or 3) there is a problem either with him or me or both and we dont know what it is, so we need to get help. Of couse like other
times every other time he said that it was going to change and that we dont need help from anywhere. A month later I came up with the idea of assuming that he was into porn. (I hardly think of the possibility of cheating because there is very little room/time for that). After denying it for a least 30 minutes he admitted it. He was into porn. Ohh my heart was broken, I thought about inmeadiate divorce. He promised not to do it again and be more loyal to me. So until this day I am waiting for that to change, of course with bottles and forced conversations that he never wants to have.

I have told him if that is the life he wants that he is free to follow it, but i dont want to be just a good friend or even best friend. He swears he loves me and finds me attractive. (By the way I am 25 in the best shape of my life. I receive complements all the time from everywhere I go. People think that I am a model or give that suggestion frequently. I dont even have the after efffect of babies cuz we dont have any. He is also very attractive, but has gained a few pounds lately which to me, it doest no make less attractive).

When it comes to other areas of our marriage, I will say that our marriage is good. I know everything about his job, his strugles and frustration and of course his accomplisments. I know all about his family and how he feel about each of them for good or for bad. I know his goal of losing weight and toning up and support him.

I have caught him lying about unrelated stuff, which is why I though of the possibility of he lying to me. I always said that I knew there would be arguments and disagreements between us, but to be honest I was not ready for that to come. Now, I will say that I am somewhat ready for those things to come go trough them, even get hurt and more importantly go through them and become stronger in our marriage.

My husband treats me well. If it is to talk about material stuff, he doest have all the money in the world, but there is nothing that I want that he will say no to. He shows a lot of affection everywhere (but in bed). He is willing to talk to me and we do talk me about anything. I support him in about all his ideas and adventures, even when I dont really feel like it, I still get up and do it. I try to give him a home where he come for refuge after hard days at work or simply after a good day at work. I try to never judge or blame him for things that happen, even if I think they are his fault.

Bottom line is that I love my husband. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I am willing to forgive him for close to about anything.

My problem is that I personally think that every men like sex. And if they are not getting it at home, in bed with their wives, they are getting it somewhere else. And if they are not, it wont be long until they star getting it from either porn or another woman. And it is not like I want to FIX the situation, I just want to know what the situation is and from there I will probably try to make it better or fix ir or not having a situation like that (and divorce).
If it comes out to be that he is physically unable to have sex, I will be next to him and support him in everything the rest of my life. And the promise that I made when I said "I do" is still alive.

But if he is satisfying himselft from another source (which might me the case, but I dont know), and he is not willing to change that, and instead he lives his life his way, in my opinion in a selfish way, I know that I dont want to be just a good friend or best friend.

September 26, 2010 - 3:38pm


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