I agree that all this is very frustrating. But you all are wonderful people, remember that. It's been hard for me too, but lately I've felt more empowered, more alive. I started doing some things for myself. I saved a little bit of money and got a personal trainer. Then lost some weight (i've always been heavy and always tried to look nice), but I look really good now-for myself--NOT HIM!! I did it for me. Next I've bought myself clothes from the store I always wanted to go to. I also am thinking about taking some classes again. I'm sick and tired of waiting for him to step up. For 12 years I've been the "partner in his life". Well guess what, this "partner" is going to let her "partner" cook dinner and do some laundry for himself.
don't get me wrong, I love him to death, but I'm still young, and I need to live for myself. We're pretty comfortable, but walking away with half of nothing doesn't appeal to me.