I can completely relate to you. I am 29 years old with 3 beautiful little girls....3 years ago I married who I thought was the man of my dreams. When we were dating we had amazing conversations, so much in common, we cuddled and held eachother, we cleaned together, we cooked together, we parented together.....and we had the most amazing sex life to top it all off....and I mean AMAZING....So, one day, we got married. We came home that day (the girls were with a friend) I couldn't wait to make love to my new husband. He rejected me. He had never done that before. He actually had the nerve to say stop it, you're making it hard...All I could think is duh!! that's the point dummy! We never even got one day of a good marriage. Since our wedding day, I have found out that all of our conversations and everything that we had in common was a lie. He told me what he thought I wanted to hear to get me to love him...I almost left this summer....to another state...I asked for a divorce...I have felt unloved and unwanted by my husband since the day we were married...We haven't even sat on the same piece of furniture together for over 2 years. We are less than room mates, we are not even friends. I blamed myself for a long time...even though I had no idea what for. When I try to talk to him about it, it's always something that's wrong with me...and not even stuff that I have control over. One day it's because I have a dislocated rib, the next was a hernia (which I had repaired and that still made no difference), the next was a simple just because or life isn't always fair. I am staying due to other health reasons and he now wants to be prince charming. But, to be honest, I don't think I can have sex with him now. After 3 years of being rejected and treated like crap. After 3 years of crying myself to sleep at night and him just ignoring it. After 3 years of begging for an answer, and sometimes just begging for affection of some sort...I feel detached...I, honestly, don't even think that I like men anymore. I mean, I still have the desire to have sex, just not with him. I feel betrayed to the point of no return. I cringe when he tries to kiss me now. I feel uncomfortable. It's a sad situation. I feel for anybody that has to go through this. My husband has also told me that sex is not important in a marriage, so what's the big deal. The big deal is...if you felt this way, you shouldn't have proposed to me. Or better yet, we should have NEVER had sex to begin with...we should have just been friends. I'll never understand why. And I'm not sure how to repair this, if it's even possible. I just don't want him to touch me now...Why after 3 years of me begging should I just be like "Oh, you want to do me now? Sure! Why not?! Let's go baby! Because that's what YOU want." Screw that! I am better than that. I am not somebodys personal whore. Sorry, I could go on and on...I'll stop now.
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I can completely relate to you. I am 29 years old with 3 beautiful little girls....3 years ago I married who I thought was the man of my dreams. When we were dating we had amazing conversations, so much in common, we cuddled and held eachother, we cleaned together, we cooked together, we parented together.....and we had the most amazing sex life to top it all off....and I mean AMAZING....So, one day, we got married. We came home that day (the girls were with a friend) I couldn't wait to make love to my new husband. He rejected me. He had never done that before. He actually had the nerve to say stop it, you're making it hard...All I could think is duh!! that's the point dummy! We never even got one day of a good marriage. Since our wedding day, I have found out that all of our conversations and everything that we had in common was a lie. He told me what he thought I wanted to hear to get me to love him...I almost left this summer....to another state...I asked for a divorce...I have felt unloved and unwanted by my husband since the day we were married...We haven't even sat on the same piece of furniture together for over 2 years. We are less than room mates, we are not even friends. I blamed myself for a long time...even though I had no idea what for. When I try to talk to him about it, it's always something that's wrong with me...and not even stuff that I have control over. One day it's because I have a dislocated rib, the next was a hernia (which I had repaired and that still made no difference), the next was a simple just because or life isn't always fair. I am staying due to other health reasons and he now wants to be prince charming. But, to be honest, I don't think I can have sex with him now. After 3 years of being rejected and treated like crap. After 3 years of crying myself to sleep at night and him just ignoring it. After 3 years of begging for an answer, and sometimes just begging for affection of some sort...I feel detached...I, honestly, don't even think that I like men anymore. I mean, I still have the desire to have sex, just not with him. I feel betrayed to the point of no return. I cringe when he tries to kiss me now. I feel uncomfortable. It's a sad situation. I feel for anybody that has to go through this. My husband has also told me that sex is not important in a marriage, so what's the big deal. The big deal is...if you felt this way, you shouldn't have proposed to me. Or better yet, we should have NEVER had sex to begin with...we should have just been friends. I'll never understand why. And I'm not sure how to repair this, if it's even possible. I just don't want him to touch me now...Why after 3 years of me begging should I just be like "Oh, you want to do me now? Sure! Why not?! Let's go baby! Because that's what YOU want." Screw that! I am better than that. I am not somebodys personal whore. Sorry, I could go on and on...I'll stop now.
July 9, 2010 - 2:59pmThis Comment
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