i am very moved by what everyone has written. i am yet another girl with intimacy issues. i am 25, married, my husband is in his early 30's. when we first started dating, we would have sex at least twice a day! (obviously no one keeps that up forever) after dating for about 6 months we decided to get married. we've now been married for almost 3 years, and we have sex about once or sometimes twice a week. this isn't ok with me, however he seems fine with it. i will mention that weight is a factor as he has gained a substantial amount of weight since we were married. he uses this as his most common excuse for not wanting to have sex - he EVEN REJECTS bjs. what man rejects a free bj? while i uderstand he's gained weight, i have observed plenty of overweight men that had a more than healthy sexual appetite. this is QUITE alarming to me, my last relationship before this one had a normal sexual relationship that was sustained for about 2 years, we both wanted it and were very happy in that dept. now that i've met my best friend and married him i feel rejected and abandoned by him sexually. other than this, he really does seem to care for me. i don't know what to do! like many others that have posted, he is very edgy and bitter if i even bring this issue up, so it is never resolved, and of course now i feel like he views it as a chore to have sex with me ... which i find beyond insulting and definitely no better than having NO sex at all. i am very scared it will only get worse as the years go by... and i don't even want to think of what it would be like if we were to have a child. i feel like a different person now... no self esteem, always wondering what's wrong with me, and wanting to turn to drinking because of all the frustration. i feel so horrible that i am the one who wants sex more - he tells me "we have sex all the time" which is ridiculous, HELLO once a week, really? there are 7 days in that effin week! again reinforcing that it seems to be a chore for him. this is causing a HUGE amount of resentment on my part, and i'm sure his too. help!
ps. i feel for every single one of you ladies who's written on this subject, i hope for the very best for all of you!!!
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i am very moved by what everyone has written. i am yet another girl with intimacy issues. i am 25, married, my husband is in his early 30's. when we first started dating, we would have sex at least twice a day! (obviously no one keeps that up forever) after dating for about 6 months we decided to get married. we've now been married for almost 3 years, and we have sex about once or sometimes twice a week. this isn't ok with me, however he seems fine with it. i will mention that weight is a factor as he has gained a substantial amount of weight since we were married. he uses this as his most common excuse for not wanting to have sex - he EVEN REJECTS bjs. what man rejects a free bj? while i uderstand he's gained weight, i have observed plenty of overweight men that had a more than healthy sexual appetite. this is QUITE alarming to me, my last relationship before this one had a normal sexual relationship that was sustained for about 2 years, we both wanted it and were very happy in that dept. now that i've met my best friend and married him i feel rejected and abandoned by him sexually. other than this, he really does seem to care for me. i don't know what to do! like many others that have posted, he is very edgy and bitter if i even bring this issue up, so it is never resolved, and of course now i feel like he views it as a chore to have sex with me ... which i find beyond insulting and definitely no better than having NO sex at all. i am very scared it will only get worse as the years go by... and i don't even want to think of what it would be like if we were to have a child. i feel like a different person now... no self esteem, always wondering what's wrong with me, and wanting to turn to drinking because of all the frustration. i feel so horrible that i am the one who wants sex more - he tells me "we have sex all the time" which is ridiculous, HELLO once a week, really? there are 7 days in that effin week! again reinforcing that it seems to be a chore for him. this is causing a HUGE amount of resentment on my part, and i'm sure his too. help!
ps. i feel for every single one of you ladies who's written on this subject, i hope for the very best for all of you!!!
May 9, 2010 - 12:45pmThis Comment
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