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So touched that you replied. Well, the minute I found the emails I called him and he came home from work that instant. I was crying and hysterical obviously because I never expected this from him. Not in a million years. I was crying and he was crying. He said he stopped sending the emails on his own (which is true as they had stopped end of dec suddenly, and I found them end of jan) and that he came to the realization that he only wants me and what he was doing was f*^&%ed up. He said the constant talk about our sex life got to him and for a second he wanted to prove to himself that there was nothing wrong with him. When what he was doing hit him he realized that this isn't what he wants, that he loves me, and that he only wants me. He's told me this several times since, trying to reassure me. I just can't help but think something major is going on in his head, ESPECIALLY since we're going through this cycle yet another time. Thank you so much for your feedback! Can't wait to hear from you again.