Firstly, I'd like to say how helpful I found all of your posts. I just want to give you a little background on my own situation to get some feedback. My husband and I have been married for 9 months and were together for a year before that. He went through a horrible marriage to a controlling bitch of a woman and turned to drinking in the end to deal with it. She had vaginismus and they never had sex. He went to hazelden when he divorced and dealt with his drinking issues (he now drinks occasionally and doesn't touch hard liquor - just beer and wine). We are fine with regards to the drinking situation (only sometimes does he go overboard) but our problem lies in the bedroom. Ever since we got engaged, sex hasn't been consistent. Before the engagement, we did it about once every 2 weeks. I brought it up and he said he was stressed (understandable). We've since gotten married and moved to live with his parents (moving out in 2 weeks). He works very hard and is loving his job (he's 30 and this is his first successful job). We have sex about once a month, or once every other month. I always make the move and he ALWAYS rejects me by pushing my hand away or saying he's tired. He's a very kind and loving man but is now starting to get aggressive whenever I bring up the subject. I try not to say anything but find it so hard! I've tried everything. Being sexy, setting the mood with wine and candles. He says it feels like a chore now that I've brought up the subject so many times. I feel like it's a vicious cycle and now feel awkward wearing anything sexy so just go to bed in boxers and a t-shirt. What do you suggest I do? Oh, in Christmas, I found emails from him to random women online asking to meet for a secret relationship. He swore to me he never met them (and from the way he stopped the emails I believe him - and just have a sense with these things). Ugh - can't believe I'm finally letting this out but have reached a dead end. HELP!
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Firstly, I'd like to say how helpful I found all of your posts. I just want to give you a little background on my own situation to get some feedback. My husband and I have been married for 9 months and were together for a year before that. He went through a horrible marriage to a controlling bitch of a woman and turned to drinking in the end to deal with it. She had vaginismus and they never had sex. He went to hazelden when he divorced and dealt with his drinking issues (he now drinks occasionally and doesn't touch hard liquor - just beer and wine). We are fine with regards to the drinking situation (only sometimes does he go overboard) but our problem lies in the bedroom. Ever since we got engaged, sex hasn't been consistent. Before the engagement, we did it about once every 2 weeks. I brought it up and he said he was stressed (understandable). We've since gotten married and moved to live with his parents (moving out in 2 weeks). He works very hard and is loving his job (he's 30 and this is his first successful job). We have sex about once a month, or once every other month. I always make the move and he ALWAYS rejects me by pushing my hand away or saying he's tired. He's a very kind and loving man but is now starting to get aggressive whenever I bring up the subject. I try not to say anything but find it so hard! I've tried everything. Being sexy, setting the mood with wine and candles. He says it feels like a chore now that I've brought up the subject so many times. I feel like it's a vicious cycle and now feel awkward wearing anything sexy so just go to bed in boxers and a t-shirt. What do you suggest I do? Oh, in Christmas, I found emails from him to random women online asking to meet for a secret relationship. He swore to me he never met them (and from the way he stopped the emails I believe him - and just have a sense with these things). Ugh - can't believe I'm finally letting this out but have reached a dead end. HELP!
April 12, 2010 - 11:39amThis Comment
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