Well my husband and I will be celebrating our 2 year anniversary in just a few weeks. I feel like I need to stop this anniversary from happening because it will mark 2 years of begging to be loved intimately and being turned down over and over again.
I was raised in a small town, had a sheltered life and was a virgin when we married - his youth was the polar opposite from me, and had been married twice before. On our wedding night the marriage was consummated and then when I asked to make love again a few days later, was refused. We have had some open, frank, conversations about sex (and I have done alot of reading on how to please my partner) he assures me that, though things were a bit awkward at first, our sex life is as good as some of the better experiences he has had. Only problem is, we only have sex about once a month. I have tried everything I can think of to make it more often - without success. He refuses to go to counselling with me or see a Dr about possible reasons for our problem. In both instances he says there is nothing wrong with him.
This has left me feeling completely unloved and undesired. To make matters worse, he is extremely affectionate to me in front of family and friends, they all think we have the greatest of marriages. Then we go home and I cry myself to sleep.
Every time I bring it up he tells me that he is very normal and that I should be happy we are having sex as often as we are, that many couples only have sex once a year. I usually persist trying to convince him to make love to me more often then we end up fighting and then I am crying and apologizing for asking for sex, and for all the other things I do that are apparently wrong about me. Fights like this leave me broken hearted, depressed and self-hating. After a few days of forcing myself to get up and go to work, make meals etc. he makes some kind of comment about how if he makes me so miserable, he says he never wanted me to be miserable so, he should leave. The I am apologizing again, begging him to stay and forcing myself to smile and look happy on the outside - even though my heart is aching on the inside.
I do love my husband very much, and aside from this, we do have a pretty good marriage. Am I being unreasonable? Should I stop asking?
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Well my husband and I will be celebrating our 2 year anniversary in just a few weeks. I feel like I need to stop this anniversary from happening because it will mark 2 years of begging to be loved intimately and being turned down over and over again.
March 8, 2010 - 11:26pmI was raised in a small town, had a sheltered life and was a virgin when we married - his youth was the polar opposite from me, and had been married twice before. On our wedding night the marriage was consummated and then when I asked to make love again a few days later, was refused. We have had some open, frank, conversations about sex (and I have done alot of reading on how to please my partner) he assures me that, though things were a bit awkward at first, our sex life is as good as some of the better experiences he has had. Only problem is, we only have sex about once a month. I have tried everything I can think of to make it more often - without success. He refuses to go to counselling with me or see a Dr about possible reasons for our problem. In both instances he says there is nothing wrong with him.
This has left me feeling completely unloved and undesired. To make matters worse, he is extremely affectionate to me in front of family and friends, they all think we have the greatest of marriages. Then we go home and I cry myself to sleep.
Every time I bring it up he tells me that he is very normal and that I should be happy we are having sex as often as we are, that many couples only have sex once a year. I usually persist trying to convince him to make love to me more often then we end up fighting and then I am crying and apologizing for asking for sex, and for all the other things I do that are apparently wrong about me. Fights like this leave me broken hearted, depressed and self-hating. After a few days of forcing myself to get up and go to work, make meals etc. he makes some kind of comment about how if he makes me so miserable, he says he never wanted me to be miserable so, he should leave. The I am apologizing again, begging him to stay and forcing myself to smile and look happy on the outside - even though my heart is aching on the inside.
I do love my husband very much, and aside from this, we do have a pretty good marriage. Am I being unreasonable? Should I stop asking?
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