Ronda... Your very welcome! He is all about pushing blame to excuse his behavior. He is such a victim, isn't he? I hate that... it's called redirecting and I have no need for it! Are you guys divorced or working on it?
Diane... thanks for the completements, I tried hard to word it the right way and am glad it came across as I was hoping it would. I agree with you... there are two rules of thought I live by and try to pass along when it fits. 1. You can't love someone for their potential, you might be waiting forever for that person while living with a jerk. 2. Love is NOT a reason to stay in a relationship. Love alone can't make a marriage work... it takes a whole lot more than that. Love is the baseline, that is where it starts... like #1 in a list of 20... you know?
Blewtheturn... yeah, I said that sentence "he is trying to get you to leave him!" at least 3 or 4 times while I was reading the whole post... I have seen that too many times. It's actually really a weak, pathetic and cruel way to end a relationship! I like your grandmother's saying, that's cute and quite wise! I love Grandmother's for their insight! Also, I am glad you dumped that worthless individual... he sounds exactly like the guy my sister is dating and she just keeps "loving him for his potential" he did all those things you mentioned. My biggest problem of them all... DO NOT ever, ever compete with my son for my love or attention. I can tell you right now, he wins hands down!
Meaning, he is a child and needs me and you are a grown man, so if you can't separate those two things and act like a grown up... you need to go! I don't walk around spouting that off or anything nor would I let my son know that is the case. It was covered that detail in the beginning when we first started dating... I told him, if you ever make me choose... by not doing your part and helping to make the relationship you have with him work... by insulting him or using poor judgement out of an immature emotional reaction or not consider his healthy upbringing when interacting with him... I will choose him over you because I can't risk affecting the rest of his life on my choice of a relationship. He totally understood and agreed with my position.
Thanks ladies for the comments... :-)