I'm so glad he finally let you know what the "problem" is, but to me, it sounds a bit invented. Otherwise, why wouldn't he have said anything sooner?
I don't know you or your husband, of course, and I hate to make assumptions that are untrue. But the fact that 18 months into your married you "have learned to just live with it and deal with it one day at a time. I'm not going to allow all of this to break me" makes me very sad. Marriage should not be about who breaks whom. And I have to say that if you feel like you are being pushed to that point, that it may be better to reconsider -- before you have spent, instead of 2 years in an unhappy union, 12 or 22 years.
Is there any way that he would go to couples counseling with you? Because it sounds like it might be very good for the both of you to have a third party in the room who is objective and who can help guide the two of you toward better communication?
Like you, I also believe that "If you love him and "know" that he loves you then divorce is not the answer. When two people love each other they can overcome anything life throws at them." I have been married for more than 19 years and we have had to work through some tough stuff. However, BOTH people have to try. BOTH people have to believe that way. And right now it sounds like that's not happening at all. And in the meantime, I see you -- and everything that makes you feel like you -- getting squashed. That's just not progress, you know?
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DiW, things just aren't adding up for me here.
I'm so glad he finally let you know what the "problem" is, but to me, it sounds a bit invented. Otherwise, why wouldn't he have said anything sooner?
I don't know you or your husband, of course, and I hate to make assumptions that are untrue. But the fact that 18 months into your married you "have learned to just live with it and deal with it one day at a time. I'm not going to allow all of this to break me" makes me very sad. Marriage should not be about who breaks whom. And I have to say that if you feel like you are being pushed to that point, that it may be better to reconsider -- before you have spent, instead of 2 years in an unhappy union, 12 or 22 years.
Is there any way that he would go to couples counseling with you? Because it sounds like it might be very good for the both of you to have a third party in the room who is objective and who can help guide the two of you toward better communication?
Like you, I also believe that "If you love him and "know" that he loves you then divorce is not the answer. When two people love each other they can overcome anything life throws at them." I have been married for more than 19 years and we have had to work through some tough stuff. However, BOTH people have to try. BOTH people have to believe that way. And right now it sounds like that's not happening at all. And in the meantime, I see you -- and everything that makes you feel like you -- getting squashed. That's just not progress, you know?
June 19, 2009 - 9:38amThis Comment
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