I am going to tell my story in hopes of helping just one person or maybe myself. This is the story of two teenagers that fell in love on a ball field back in 1979. It was early fall and I had graduated high school and she just began her senior year. It was a awesome day and I was tossing slow pitches to a girl whose breasts left little room to throw a strike. She was petite and beautiful wearing a mint green tank top and a paisley wrap around skirt. I knew her but was surprised she was at the plate seeing how she was known to be deeply into a bible group called the way. As for me I was a well known hockey player in town with a bad boy rep and attracted girls I'll call rebels. Somehow her and I ended up alone in right field having a deep discussion about life,love,marriage and kids.I always knew I could win a girls heart when they realized I was also soft and sensitive but this day and moment was gonna change my whole life. I swear to all that is holy I felt the hand of a angel on my shoulder and a whisper in my ear. I heard or felt a voice tell me here she is, the one meant to be by your side. Wake up! don't blow this anyways I had a hot girl and this chicks to pure to risk being with a guy like me. Yeah of course I got the girl but what's important here is my memory of that day. It was as close as I can call a religious expierence. I knew then how one might feel upon reaching the top of Everest or being first to set foot on the moon. A few months later I was in a car being driven at 100mph by a close friend that hit a solid granite wall. Four of us took that ride but I was the sole survior. I was badly injured but not lucky enough to be knocked out. I wish I was spared seeing and feeling death and the guilt and loneliness that still keeps me awake nights. In all that was so bad there she was at my bedside everyday and she always made me feel safe. We got married in 1983 and had more than most our ages. Hard work and some insurance money I got helped, but 67,000 was'nt exactly a fair price to take the ride I did.Well to shorten this up I'll say friends looked at us like John and Yoko and we had true love and a boy and girl. In 1997 I got sick, no warning just pain and fear. Turned out my pancreas slowly stopped working properly due to internal injury from the car accident. It took 17 yrs to almost kill me but who knew back then. I was told I had permanent nerve damage and would never improve plus become diabetic. For six years I tried any thing except voodoo to relieve the pain. I spent those years on a heavy and ever increasing regiment of morphine. My wife was always by my side but sometimes I needed her to watch my back.I still feel her pain, she tried not to show it but she has eyes like a puppy or small child, you know when they're sad. In 2003 I could no longer work and kept getting other ailments. Eventually we had to sell our main home, then the cottage and boat plus our way of life. Waiting for SSI to be awarded took 4 years and that was a killer. We moved into my sisters house to cut costs and wait out SSI. I never knew it was the begining of the end, she never talked to me about how she felt. Looking back I feel she lost respect for me as a man more than not loving me anymore. She was working two jobs it was hard on her but I did'nt plan this out so I could watch reruns all day. Then one day she never came home neither did my son. No reason, no kiss good bye not even a I'm sorry. I was left alone after 29 yrs without income, transportation and soon a place to live.All she has is anger towards me for the way things turned out.I'm,not exactly pleased either we both lost it all. However I'm still the one in pain with scars and a broken heart.The truth is in a way I can't blame her for wanting more out of life but did she have to be so cruel.
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I am going to tell my story in hopes of helping just one person or maybe myself. This is the story of two teenagers that fell in love on a ball field back in 1979. It was early fall and I had graduated high school and she just began her senior year. It was a awesome day and I was tossing slow pitches to a girl whose breasts left little room to throw a strike. She was petite and beautiful wearing a mint green tank top and a paisley wrap around skirt. I knew her but was surprised she was at the plate seeing how she was known to be deeply into a bible group called the way. As for me I was a well known hockey player in town with a bad boy rep and attracted girls I'll call rebels. Somehow her and I ended up alone in right field having a deep discussion about life,love,marriage and kids.I always knew I could win a girls heart when they realized I was also soft and sensitive but this day and moment was gonna change my whole life. I swear to all that is holy I felt the hand of a angel on my shoulder and a whisper in my ear. I heard or felt a voice tell me here she is, the one meant to be by your side. Wake up! don't blow this anyways I had a hot girl and this chicks to pure to risk being with a guy like me. Yeah of course I got the girl but what's important here is my memory of that day. It was as close as I can call a religious expierence. I knew then how one might feel upon reaching the top of Everest or being first to set foot on the moon. A few months later I was in a car being driven at 100mph by a close friend that hit a solid granite wall. Four of us took that ride but I was the sole survior. I was badly injured but not lucky enough to be knocked out. I wish I was spared seeing and feeling death and the guilt and loneliness that still keeps me awake nights. In all that was so bad there she was at my bedside everyday and she always made me feel safe. We got married in 1983 and had more than most our ages. Hard work and some insurance money I got helped, but 67,000 was'nt exactly a fair price to take the ride I did.Well to shorten this up I'll say friends looked at us like John and Yoko and we had true love and a boy and girl. In 1997 I got sick, no warning just pain and fear. Turned out my pancreas slowly stopped working properly due to internal injury from the car accident. It took 17 yrs to almost kill me but who knew back then. I was told I had permanent nerve damage and would never improve plus become diabetic. For six years I tried any thing except voodoo to relieve the pain. I spent those years on a heavy and ever increasing regiment of morphine. My wife was always by my side but sometimes I needed her to watch my back.I still feel her pain, she tried not to show it but she has eyes like a puppy or small child, you know when they're sad. In 2003 I could no longer work and kept getting other ailments. Eventually we had to sell our main home, then the cottage and boat plus our way of life. Waiting for SSI to be awarded took 4 years and that was a killer. We moved into my sisters house to cut costs and wait out SSI. I never knew it was the begining of the end, she never talked to me about how she felt. Looking back I feel she lost respect for me as a man more than not loving me anymore. She was working two jobs it was hard on her but I did'nt plan this out so I could watch reruns all day. Then one day she never came home neither did my son. No reason, no kiss good bye not even a I'm sorry. I was left alone after 29 yrs without income, transportation and soon a place to live.All she has is anger towards me for the way things turned out.I'm,not exactly pleased either we both lost it all. However I'm still the one in pain with scars and a broken heart.The truth is in a way I can't blame her for wanting more out of life but did she have to be so cruel.
December 3, 2010 - 11:44pmThis Comment
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