I'm so glad to feel that I am not crazy to feel the way I do. I'm 37yo female overall healthy with a 48yo husband who was diagnosed with rectal cancer a year ago, 3 months after our 1st anniversary. I tried to be understanding, I am very thankful that we are not in any financial stress due to multiple insurance policies and very fortunate that both our bosses are very understanding and allow us to be on Work at home as much as we need, but I do not know how much more is in me to handle the emotional toll. Ever since his diagnosis, he has been complaining about "why me" for a whole year -- all through chemoradiation, surgery, and now second round of chemo -- I don't think he ever passed the denial stage. I have been there for him through EVERYTHING, but we are down to a point we don't really talk while we live in the same house. If I check on him, then I'm being "smothering" and treat him like he's 2. But if I don't check, I would not know what's wrong -- and all he said is I am bad at READING the room. He does not care about my well-being ever since he is sick - everything is about him. There are moments I can't handle him and asked him what he think of us -- then he go ahead and tell me "what us" (because he has ED issue after all these), and even go as far as he should have never got married. I'm at a loss of words, and honestly, I feel that if the disease doesn't kill him (which will be most likely), the situation would kill me.
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I'm so glad to feel that I am not crazy to feel the way I do. I'm 37yo female overall healthy with a 48yo husband who was diagnosed with rectal cancer a year ago, 3 months after our 1st anniversary. I tried to be understanding, I am very thankful that we are not in any financial stress due to multiple insurance policies and very fortunate that both our bosses are very understanding and allow us to be on Work at home as much as we need, but I do not know how much more is in me to handle the emotional toll. Ever since his diagnosis, he has been complaining about "why me" for a whole year -- all through chemoradiation, surgery, and now second round of chemo -- I don't think he ever passed the denial stage. I have been there for him through EVERYTHING, but we are down to a point we don't really talk while we live in the same house. If I check on him, then I'm being "smothering" and treat him like he's 2. But if I don't check, I would not know what's wrong -- and all he said is I am bad at READING the room. He does not care about my well-being ever since he is sick - everything is about him. There are moments I can't handle him and asked him what he think of us -- then he go ahead and tell me "what us" (because he has ED issue after all these), and even go as far as he should have never got married. I'm at a loss of words, and honestly, I feel that if the disease doesn't kill him (which will be most likely), the situation would kill me.
January 31, 2018 - 7:01pmThis Comment
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