So, I am the young lady who posted back in January about my husband who has MS. I am still with him. His health had continued to deteriorate, he had another pulmonary embolism and refused a green field filter that was recommended by the medical doctor, pulmonologist, and vascular surgeon....not to mention me a Nurse Practitioner. He instead decided to stay on coumadin, didn't bother to have his labs drawn the way he was supposed to, fell and had a massive bruise that looked like he had been in a car accident. I didn't mention before that we have a beautiful 3year old little boy that we adopted from China. That's when my husband's health really started to go downhill. I know that he loves our little boy....just not me. He has some decent days where he will talk to me like I'm not a complete idiot. Otherwise, in his mind I've destroyed his life by making him move closer to my family. My family is very supportive and will help me when I need a hand, his family has been pretty much useless in helping me with handling him. He continues to blow up easily, he has shouted at the people at the bank, H&R Block, the grocery store, the gas station and recently at the Social Security Disability office (which who knows...they may have had it coming). Our dog recently bit the baby and I wanted it gone, he refused and slept on the couch with the dog for about 2 months...to show me. I have to say, I didn't miss him in the bed. He has had some days that he has treated me ok, but generally he is miserable to live with. Thank God, I enjoy my work, have some good friends and have an excellent time playing with the little one. I've tried to join different exercise classes to get out of the house and he always makes me cancel or feel guilty for leaving. He accuses me of being self-centered and a bad parent for leaving the house. I also went back to school to obtain my doctorate and honestly, he's jealous that I'm back in school, work and trying to achieve things in my life. The desire to leave has not left me, but I still feel stuck. He comes up with crazy ideas of how he's going to take my 3 year old out of town for a couple of weeks to spend time with his family and is upset that I will not let him. He cannot walk distances, care for him on a daily basis or act like a normal person and he thinks that he's going to take him out of state. Absolutely not. He hates our new home (a ranch so that it would be easier for him to walk), he hates the area and tells me that he's going to die soon. It's awful, but some days I wonder when. My parents have offered for me to come home and live with them with the baby. If I leave, I know that I'll be paying out of my ass for the rest of his life. He cannot afford his medications and will not be eligible for medicare for another year and a half. I am as mixed up as ever. I don't think that any of my family or friends or even his friend would think bad of me for leaving him at this point. Everyone has seen how awful he is. He rarely eats anymore and is about 5'8" and weighs about 125lbs so he tells me. I think he's probably even less. He smokes like crazy and drinks mountain dew all day long. He doesn't care about himself. Today, he actually ignored me when I hurt my leg and couldn't put any weight down on it because he fell earlier in the shower and was mad at me. He calls me at work and screams at me on my cell phone to come home "right now!" when soemthing goes wrong at home (like he doesn't understand the mortgage bill, or he breaks something). This is my life.
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So, I am the young lady who posted back in January about my husband who has MS. I am still with him. His health had continued to deteriorate, he had another pulmonary embolism and refused a green field filter that was recommended by the medical doctor, pulmonologist, and vascular surgeon....not to mention me a Nurse Practitioner. He instead decided to stay on coumadin, didn't bother to have his labs drawn the way he was supposed to, fell and had a massive bruise that looked like he had been in a car accident. I didn't mention before that we have a beautiful 3year old little boy that we adopted from China. That's when my husband's health really started to go downhill. I know that he loves our little boy....just not me. He has some decent days where he will talk to me like I'm not a complete idiot. Otherwise, in his mind I've destroyed his life by making him move closer to my family. My family is very supportive and will help me when I need a hand, his family has been pretty much useless in helping me with handling him. He continues to blow up easily, he has shouted at the people at the bank, H&R Block, the grocery store, the gas station and recently at the Social Security Disability office (which who knows...they may have had it coming). Our dog recently bit the baby and I wanted it gone, he refused and slept on the couch with the dog for about 2 months...to show me. I have to say, I didn't miss him in the bed. He has had some days that he has treated me ok, but generally he is miserable to live with. Thank God, I enjoy my work, have some good friends and have an excellent time playing with the little one. I've tried to join different exercise classes to get out of the house and he always makes me cancel or feel guilty for leaving. He accuses me of being self-centered and a bad parent for leaving the house. I also went back to school to obtain my doctorate and honestly, he's jealous that I'm back in school, work and trying to achieve things in my life. The desire to leave has not left me, but I still feel stuck. He comes up with crazy ideas of how he's going to take my 3 year old out of town for a couple of weeks to spend time with his family and is upset that I will not let him. He cannot walk distances, care for him on a daily basis or act like a normal person and he thinks that he's going to take him out of state. Absolutely not. He hates our new home (a ranch so that it would be easier for him to walk), he hates the area and tells me that he's going to die soon. It's awful, but some days I wonder when. My parents have offered for me to come home and live with them with the baby. If I leave, I know that I'll be paying out of my ass for the rest of his life. He cannot afford his medications and will not be eligible for medicare for another year and a half. I am as mixed up as ever. I don't think that any of my family or friends or even his friend would think bad of me for leaving him at this point. Everyone has seen how awful he is. He rarely eats anymore and is about 5'8" and weighs about 125lbs so he tells me. I think he's probably even less. He smokes like crazy and drinks mountain dew all day long. He doesn't care about himself. Today, he actually ignored me when I hurt my leg and couldn't put any weight down on it because he fell earlier in the shower and was mad at me. He calls me at work and screams at me on my cell phone to come home "right now!" when soemthing goes wrong at home (like he doesn't understand the mortgage bill, or he breaks something). This is my life.
June 8, 2009 - 9:24pmThis Comment
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