I need to leave a man that I love very much, to save my own life! I don't know what to do about it but I can share what has helped me!
Last year, I suffered a major depressive episode that almost took my life. During that time I discovered a book that was a HUGE help to me. I recommend it to each and every one of you. It is called 'Co-dependent No More'. by Melody Beattie. It was written years ago, but is very relevant to our situations.
Here is my story.... My husband and I are both in our second marriage, and have been for almost 20 years. About 10 years ago, he began having serious back pain and was put on prescription narcotics. That is when everything turned. Over the past decade, his health issues have become overwhelming. He has had 2 back surgeries, 1 emergency major stomach surgery in Mexico while on a mission trip, gained 60 lbs due to being unable to exercise, heart stints, now having major asthma problems. All including, 40-50 ER visits and 10+ hospitalizations over the last 3 years. Meanwhile he became addicted to the narcotics he was prescribed because he really needed them. Now his personality has changed so much my sweet and outgoing husband has retreated into himself to the point of alienation of all who knew and loved him. Our children are angry with him because he overeats, drinks, and generally doesn't take care of himself. They feel that if he did much of this would be better and that it is really his own fault. Meanwhile he has been hired and fired more than 17 times in 10 years. So his financial contributions have been minimal at best! I believe the narcotics have affected his brain and so that even when he is not on them, he is unable to process the way he used to. He is extremely depressed and disfunctional. All of these things have been such separate issues that SSI disability being approved seems unlikely. He is basically very sick, physically, mentally and spiritually.
This brings me to the spring of 2016 when the stress brought me into a major depressive episode that almost took my life. At that time, I decided I had to leave him to save my own life! As it turned out financially we couldn't afford to live apart due to the massive amount of debt we have accumulated due to his illnesses. I pray you all find something that helps you. I do feel much stronger now and am much more able to make myself happy throughout all of these very stressful circumstances by applying principals I learned in the book I mentioned above. I too am a Christian, and when he and I married we agreed that divorce was not an option for us. This Vow is why I am still here with him. Please be kind to yourselves. Do what is best for you. Only YOU know what that is. Wishing you all sanity and peace and strength!
Comment Reply
I need to leave a man that I love very much, to save my own life! I don't know what to do about it but I can share what has helped me!
January 14, 2017 - 3:39amLast year, I suffered a major depressive episode that almost took my life. During that time I discovered a book that was a HUGE help to me. I recommend it to each and every one of you. It is called 'Co-dependent No More'. by Melody Beattie. It was written years ago, but is very relevant to our situations.
Here is my story.... My husband and I are both in our second marriage, and have been for almost 20 years. About 10 years ago, he began having serious back pain and was put on prescription narcotics. That is when everything turned. Over the past decade, his health issues have become overwhelming. He has had 2 back surgeries, 1 emergency major stomach surgery in Mexico while on a mission trip, gained 60 lbs due to being unable to exercise, heart stints, now having major asthma problems. All including, 40-50 ER visits and 10+ hospitalizations over the last 3 years. Meanwhile he became addicted to the narcotics he was prescribed because he really needed them. Now his personality has changed so much my sweet and outgoing husband has retreated into himself to the point of alienation of all who knew and loved him. Our children are angry with him because he overeats, drinks, and generally doesn't take care of himself. They feel that if he did much of this would be better and that it is really his own fault. Meanwhile he has been hired and fired more than 17 times in 10 years. So his financial contributions have been minimal at best! I believe the narcotics have affected his brain and so that even when he is not on them, he is unable to process the way he used to. He is extremely depressed and disfunctional. All of these things have been such separate issues that SSI disability being approved seems unlikely. He is basically very sick, physically, mentally and spiritually.
This brings me to the spring of 2016 when the stress brought me into a major depressive episode that almost took my life. At that time, I decided I had to leave him to save my own life! As it turned out financially we couldn't afford to live apart due to the massive amount of debt we have accumulated due to his illnesses. I pray you all find something that helps you. I do feel much stronger now and am much more able to make myself happy throughout all of these very stressful circumstances by applying principals I learned in the book I mentioned above. I too am a Christian, and when he and I married we agreed that divorce was not an option for us. This Vow is why I am still here with him. Please be kind to yourselves. Do what is best for you. Only YOU know what that is. Wishing you all sanity and peace and strength!
This Comment
Reply