I feel like I have come here really... to work out what I should do.
I have been with my partner for 4 years. We are in the process of buying a house together. I'm 29 and he's in his late 30s. When we met, I knew he had some mild depression, but since we met he has developed chronic pain and chronic fatigue which has gotten gradually worse over these 4 years. We are looking at marriage and children in the next few years, so I am really at a decision point...
I love him, and he loves me, and I know some elements of our relationship do work well. But this is the only relationship I've ever really had, and I don't know if I can really deal with signing myself up for another 50-odd years of deteriorating health. As his pain worsens, so does his depression, and it means we cannot do any of the things I see all of the couples around me doing - there's no fun, there are no weekends away, no days out, because he cannot predict how ill he will be, and he spends most of his free time in bed, trying to recover his energy from working. He's terrified of soon being unable to work because of the pain. We both work long hours, and 80-90% of the household chores have to fall to me - it worries me what this would mean if we did have children.
We have sex maybe 2-3 times a year, (and I have to beg for it..!) and he does not let me touch him.
At this point I feel like I have to decide one way or another - do I marry this man? I do love him. But not knowing any other relationship and having so much of my life left to live... I just don't know what to do.
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I feel like I have come here really... to work out what I should do.
I have been with my partner for 4 years. We are in the process of buying a house together. I'm 29 and he's in his late 30s. When we met, I knew he had some mild depression, but since we met he has developed chronic pain and chronic fatigue which has gotten gradually worse over these 4 years. We are looking at marriage and children in the next few years, so I am really at a decision point...
I love him, and he loves me, and I know some elements of our relationship do work well. But this is the only relationship I've ever really had, and I don't know if I can really deal with signing myself up for another 50-odd years of deteriorating health. As his pain worsens, so does his depression, and it means we cannot do any of the things I see all of the couples around me doing - there's no fun, there are no weekends away, no days out, because he cannot predict how ill he will be, and he spends most of his free time in bed, trying to recover his energy from working. He's terrified of soon being unable to work because of the pain. We both work long hours, and 80-90% of the household chores have to fall to me - it worries me what this would mean if we did have children.
We have sex maybe 2-3 times a year, (and I have to beg for it..!) and he does not let me touch him.
At this point I feel like I have to decide one way or another - do I marry this man? I do love him. But not knowing any other relationship and having so much of my life left to live... I just don't know what to do.
July 29, 2016 - 12:51pmThis Comment
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