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My first three colonoscopies were like the ones described above. This last one, however, was a doozy. Having been stuck with all kinds of needles and dressed in my Givenchy (not!) gown, I was wheeled into the procedure room, put on my left side and told, "You're going to start feeling funny. I feel funny when people laugh. I felt something charge into me through the needle, but sure didn't feel "funny." The doctor started in. Every movement she made was excruciating. I let out a couple of hushed yelps. She backed off, fixed me with a fearsome gaze and said that if I couldn't settle down, she'd stop, and I'd have to do all the prep another day. I managed to communicate that I didn't feel "funny" at all and was feeling everything. So they put some more funny stuff through the needle, and soon enough, I was in la-la land, watching a full color trip through my intestines on a large monitor. While I was recovering, the doc went and told my family that I needed twice as much anesthesia as anybody else (i.e. granny is a junkie). Everybody survived.

June 21, 2018 - 4:24pm


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